I've just finished reading 'A Walk in the Woods', where he attempts to hike the Appalachian Trail with his friend Stephen Katz. It's full of interesting and sometimes obscure facts, very funny descriptions of people and places and of course merciless ribbing of his friend.

I've recently discovered that Bryson is Sagittarian, which immediately made sense to me. He's a bit off the wall, interested in everything, excited by things that seem quite ordinary, until he tells us how he's seeing them. He loves to travel, so much that he became a travel writer, among other things. He's impulsive and not always practical in his decision making, seems kind, has a strong sense of justice and finds humour in all but the most hellish situations. And of course, he's perceptive and intelligent.

For those who have no time for astrology, just ignore that paragraph and move on.

I'm not sure I'd like Bill Bryson if I met him, he's a little inclined to write people off as stupid if they annoy him in any way, and I'm not sure how I'd fare in that respect.

Having said that, if, in some highly unlikely twist of fate I found myself having a coffee with him, I suspect I'd enjoy the conversation. A lively mind is a joy.

I remember when I was heavily pregnant with S, sitting in a local cafe, reading  'Down Under' , which is about his travels in Australia. I laughed so hard that the man next to me moved over a few inches. I think he was worried I might go into labour and he'd have to help!

If you haven't read anything by him, give it a try. At worst you might learn some strange and interesting new things and at best you might scare the people next to you with your loud guffaws.

:-)

Six months ago I wrote this poem. It included every month we'd been together from the Aquarius moon to the Cancer moon and what we'd gone through during each month. I promised to finish it after a time span of six additional months and will start from the Leo moon and start back at Aquarius where our relationship had been born. I love poetry but write it seldom due to an annoying self-critical nature I am currently trying to exorcise out of me.

one-

your clothes, my favorite scent

the water bearer shines down on US

quizically quacky and weird

hearts open wide at this crazy invention

an intervention of love

laughing so hard i can’t breath

living so much i can’t dream

are you really all that you seem?

Happy Birthday, US.

two-

swim with me in this vast ocean

i’m drowning with you in a parking lot

two fish trapped, encircled together

lost, never to be found again

never wanting to be found

twirl, twirl, fall down giggling

i lOve you, i lOve you, i lOve you

three-

play with me and lets begin

a war tonight that never ends

you&me against the world,

two hands that naturally curl

around like vines, pulling you to me to you

an inseperable pair, let

the miserable stare and point their fingers

the joyful can laugh and applaud

neither will effect US

four-

Loss&Gain

stubborn as a bull

lost everything but won’t lose you

lose everything but don’t lose me

gain everything and i’ll still have you

gain everything and you’ll still have me

cry, don’t lie so still

work, don’t toil

patterns breaking, hearts aching

through damnation and fire,

i’d never quit you

five-

quicksilver, mercury

neglect and fury

no voice leaves no choice

no choice leaves US broken

i wish i could be smaller,

maybe i’ll stop trying and let

you take me down, in rubble

and burnt ash on the ground

the end: two lovers holding hands,

making a choice: each other.

six-

Brightest light we’ve ever seen

you&me caught in between

moon mother, and father sun

our emotions swept out from

under the rug

making a trip to the stars and back

home

with you

where i wanted to be all along

your laughter, my favorite song

your tongue, my favorite taste

your smile, my favorite sight

your skin, my favorite sensation

]]> http://juliedemboski.wordpress.com/?p=253 Sat, 19 Jul 2008 06:49:42 +0000 juliedemboski http://juliedemboski.wordpress.com/?p=253 Conflict and attempts at resolution fill our day; at the very least, we see words, ideas, and assertions of our authority run up against social barriers, those who are 'foreign' to us in some way, or disapproving custom, and values and emotions are secerely tested (Mercury and Ceres opposed Jupiter, Moon opposed Venus). Our expansion is limited by concepts, and our concepts fail to expand out into our world; our ideas of effective empowerment must change to fit both the messages of authorities and our own life direction (Juno quincunx Mercury/ Ceres and North Node quincunx Ceres). This may be our Friday-Saturday, but what can we do with this, what can we do to turn this energy around?

We might find relief in the Uranus/ Pallas sextile; these two together deliver creative leaps forward to those who can use innate and well-developed skills in unique ways. The trick is to forge ahead with our efforts without taking too much notice of the way our work is received. This isn't normally the case; typically we must participate in a flow of energies into and out of our systems, monitoring and balancing the exchange with extreme care and attention, but this time we must listen to our inner voice, the one that guides our most original and productive thinking, and then we must act to make these inspirations a part of our intellect, our philosophy, or part of our 'group think.' For once, being innovative is far more important to our success than is pleasing the group or the unfeeling demands of our own intellect (Uranus).

Pallas also squares Neptune and Chiron, and use of our skills could stir up confusion and hurt. Again, we must not allow Self-doubt, in the form of delusion or misperception, to make us vulnerable; the wound that we may see stirred up is the one that is most primal, and most deeply a part of our psyche--and it will paralyze our will to express if we're not exceptionally careful. Recognize the illusory or deceptive nature of those things that dispirit us at this time, and tap this same unique vein for the individuality it carries in order to find our most appropriate (and highly effective) abilities, and put them to use. The transformation that ensues will be Soul deep, but will not necessarily feel major or be traumatic; instead it will show as a decisive step in the direction of authentic Self-expression (Sun quincunx Pluto).

My books are in! See and buy them here http://www.amazon.com/Chiron-Natal-Chart-Julie-Demboski/dp/0965836916/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216449867&sr=1-1 Thanks!

Just like any other divination system, results can be poor if the Querent is also the one reading the results. Yes, I can bend anything to say what I want it to say, and then am left going, what did I do wrong? So I am going to ask for input and I will throw in what I see in the next day or so.

With Horary, it is important to understand the question and background given. Okay, mentioned husband gone. I have dated a bit this last year and have had lots of wonderful "almosts". Ryoin called me a clumsy black widow once, because it seems that there have been deaths involved with me and my "dating pool" whether their family or in one case the "datee". If not that, I seem to meet them mere moments prior to their lives spiraling out of control. I have learned no more Natal Uranus opposing Transit Uranus (age 39-43) since I am tired of dating me being on the official list of what a man is to do during a midlife crisis. Not that I am sure that would matter much, as my Progressed Venus is at 22° Pisces and Transit Uranus is doing a tango with it now.... sigh, only 5 more years of that... sure my progressed Moon will catch up with Uranus by then.

Okay, time to roll up the sleeves and have a go at this. I will comment along as comments come in.

The uterus of a pregnant sand tiger shark is not exactly a peaceful sanctuary. Her eggs hatch in there well before she gives birth. Soon the multiple embryos begin a fight to the death. By the time the mother goes into labor, there's just one pup remaining. I suspect there's now a similar kind of survival-of-the-fittest struggle going on within the metaphorical womb of your imagination, Pisces. Several pretty good brainchildren are tussling for supremacy. Which one will defeat and eat the others and grow into maturity? I bet we'll find out soon. 

Reading this astrology creates a world.  The body of the fallen Lover crumpled on the ground, the seemingly lifeless corpse, sprawled out on the ground. She was beautiful, full of dreams, hopes, and ambitions of great Love and Happiness. She is a tragic figure, with her wavy locks, spread out around her form, like an angel who has lost her wings. The Others sit around the space in mourning? Not really- mostly wondering which one is next. They didn't execute the Lover, she was broken by something else all together. But regardless, another one bites the dust, pardon the cruel irony. She had united them- made them all believe they could have moments, that they could all be one. Like the Spice Girls. That they could be a unity, an Actor-Writer-Singer-Pragmatist-Lover, a quintet of power. But now that she had fallen, they sat-paced-hid-stood waiting for the next one to make the move. Pragmatist stood tall by the body, she knew she would win in the end. Making money. Making money she repeated with a firm belief that her logic would seep through, and she would stay standing while all the creative fools killed each other. They'd have to bury the body- the Lover couldn't possibly be awaken anytime soon. Logically speaking it was improbable. You need money to live. It's a fact.  Actor sat- posed- postulated, wondering what words could be used to express the pain and joy. Love alters not- bears it out to edge of dooooooom. Doooooom! She let the words roll around her mouth, felt the vibrations the 'O' sound created in her mouth. Mouth. Mouth. The 'th' sound was intoxicating. Taking it apart like Stanislavsky's turkey- or was it a chicken? Actor would take them all apart with the words of others flowing like super powers through her self, through her instrument, her emotions. What did the Actor know about words- other then speaking them with manufactured meaning? The Writer, paced around the space, avoiding the elephant in the room.  Reading as a writer- writing as a reader. Writer knew you could agonize other a sentence, or word, or paragraph- but mostly you have to be bold, and keep it writing. Just keep writing. One was already dead. 4 more to go. What would Austen write? Would they all be drinking tea with empire waists. Would the Lover still lie at their feet? What about the body, would it be realistic, naturalistic- or a horse of a different color? What-why-who-where-how-mostly why? Ever so softly in the corner the Singer bid her time. She hummed a tune. She hated the Lover, she was in the dark, locked in a small cage to be poked and prodded and never good enough. Not once. So she ignored the body, at the same time glad it was there. A lifeless form- inspiration for a melody. Broken hearts make the best songs. She smiled to herself. She would soon have the power to pierce the ears of all around her until their brains bled out of their noses. What rhymes with noses?

The Lover lay there as they figured this new situation out. She was half alive but felt mostly dead. Something she once heard in a love song- once upon a something. Lover hoped she would breath once more, she knew she would, the way you know about the sun rising and moon becoming full. Let them kill each other, and let them eat each other's hearts, but in the end they are all the same. Lover let herself get lost for a while. Dancing on clouds and shooting stars as most lovers do.

Please try not to laugh as the Washington Post interviews an astrologer on her practices as well as her opinion of the upcoming election.  No, that's not astronomy.

An astrologer?  ...in the Washington Post?

Mars in Virgo trines Jupiter in Capricorn this Saturday evening. The whole week may be powered by this energetic combination, especially by Virgo and Capricorn natives. Your physical energies will be strong, your decision-making abilities accented, and a desire for risk and games of chance may lead you to the poker table or casino. It is so rare for Virgo to bet on anything, and Capricorn doesn’t believe in luck but in hard work. So I have a hard time picturing either of them at the craps table. But Virgo might be persuaded to wager a buck on a charitable drawing, and Cappy might just bet a round of drinks on the outcome of a sporting event.

Readers can follow not only their Sun sign horoscope but also the sign of their Ascendant for further clues to how your week will develop

ARIES

- March 20-April 19 - The Moon is in Aries from the wee hours Wed. thru early Friday. Your energies are always high but with Mars in your solar sixth house of health, trining Jupiter, you could feel particularly eager for a game of touch football or other games. You could make the winning goal, but quit while you are ahead. It can also mean that something that has been your avocation could turn into your vocation. You might need the advice of a national firm to bring this dream into reality; at least check with local mentors or chamber of commerce members for advice.

TAURUS

- April 20-May 20 - The Moon enters Taurus from Friday morning thru Sun. midday. The asteroid Vesta in your sign trines Saturn in Virgo -- one possibility is sticking close to home to work on projects to improve your comfort or health. Also you might read or take a class in proper diet; I recommend looking up the Glycemic Index guide to weight loss. The luxury of taking time off from work this month appeals to you a great deal. I see you eager to put up your garden produce and babysit grandkids or any number of things. Maybe if you win that Mars-Jupiter lottery this week, that dream will come true.

GEMINI

- May 21-June 20 - Events may happen lightning fast this week at work -- Uranus in your solar tenth house of career is being aspected by the Moon and Mercury. Everyone’s summer vacation plans have been scaled down this year, and probably yours are no exception. But I feel that a short getaway to a place you have been before will be very beneficial and fun. Your spouse or partner will be very energetic and may take the lead in planning your weekend getaway. Take the opportunity to visit relatives and neighbors; they have missed seeing you and you have so much to catch up on.

CANCER

- June 21-July 22 - Mercury transiting your sign trines Uranus in Pisces Tues. afternoon. You are mentally eager to learn and meet news kinds of people. Go somewhere you haven’t been before, or enroll in a class in anything from computers, tech, science, math, or engineering to astrology. Cancerians are great students because it seems like they never forget a thing once they have learned it. Your favorite vacation idea is just lounging or swimming in your own pool, but the local park is almost as good. Being near water recharges your batteries.

LEO

- July 23-Aug. 22 - The Sun enter Leo early Tuesday morn -- 6:55 am Eastern time. Rise and shine, Leo, the Sun came out to say happy birthday to you. No hard or stressful aspects today, so it sounds like a good day to spend at the beach or lazing around. Some Leos might find they have unusual skills this year, or meet someone who you’d swear was your twin soul separated at birth. Jupiter in your solar sixth house of health says your health and energy will be high, but take care not to overdo at the dinner table.

VIRGO

- Aug. 23-Sept. 22 - Mars in your sign trines Jupiter this week, so you might fee just a wee bit lucky. Perhaps you’ll bet someone that a quotation came from the Bible not Shakespeare, and you’d be right. But if you decide to go along to a casino night, it’s OK Virgo, really. You’ve worked hard, you deserve some time out. Jupiter is transiting your solar fifth house of fun, gambling, sports, children and ‘flings’. I can’t see you suddenly wagering thousands on a throw of the dice, but maybe the office pool on the ball game will produce a winning ticket for you.

LIBRA

- Sept. 23-Oct. 22 - The Moon-Uranus conjunction in your sixth house of health may mean that you get terribly upset about some news or personal discussion. Take the opportunity to learn how to manage stress with massage, yoga, aromatherapy, or even brushing your hair! In fact, other transits show you might benefit from visiting a day spa or consultant in the allied health fields for ideas on how to best manage your health, stress, and diet.

SCORPIO

- Oct. 23-Nov. 21 - Your spouse or partner is learning more about self-care skills, possibly even studying for a license in massage or related fields. Show an interest in his or her growing skills; ask for mini-treatments and spread the word about it. You may get news of a windfall when Mercury trines Uranus Tuesday afternoon. Those planets are making an aspect from your solar fifth house of games/gambling to your ninth house of national or world events, so maybe an office pool on a league game will come up in your favor. The Sun enters your solar tenth house, and with Venus already there, you should get a slice of the spotlight this month.

SAGITTARIUS

- Nov. 22-Dec. 21 - The Mars-Saturn trine from your solar tenth house of career to your solar second house of money implies that you will take some risk in your career. Maybe you want to branch out on your own or expand the office. But I think that long-term, over the course of the next year or two, that sudden events can put the prospects for success in peril. Asteroids transiting your solar sixth house of health urge you to explore spa or related health practices.

CAPRICORN

- Dec. 22-Jan. 19 - You’re not really much of a gambler, but you do bet on yourself. You have invested in your own education, cultivated experienced mentors, and put yourself on the line. So now with Jupiter in your sign trining Mars, you may feel even more like taking calculated risks in putting your work or your product out there on the market. If it’s a seasonal or test item, fine, but longer term, I would say that rolling out a new item should wait till after Aug. 10. That way you avoid a killer opposition to Uranus.

AQUARIUS

- Jan. 20-Feb. 17 - Somehow you represent the future to a lot of people. OK, you are open-minded, eager to find new solutions to problems, and you put out the welcome mat to peaceful uses of technology. Meanwhile you still have to take care of your old-fashioned, analog body and that might mean looking into low-cost traditional practices like a sauna or whirlpool. Your spouse or partner is looking particularly lovely and vivacious this month; remember to tell her (or him) how glad you are that you met.

PISCES

- Feb. 18-March 19 - The Moon is in Pisces from late July 20 thru the wee hours Wed. On Tues. the Moon will conjunct Uranus in your sign -- PLUS it is trine Mercury in Cancer. You could get upset about some news at first, but I think you will brainstorm on how to work around it. You may even get create a new plan. If you have concerns about going into business for yourself, talk to a local mentor or chamber of commerce group. They have loads of good tips on what you need to do. Friends may be lucky this week, have you complimented them lately?

(Chart data: 17 July 2008, 10:38am EDT, Boston. 25 Virgo 29 rising. Click to enlarge the chart.)

25 Virgo 29 is rising. This degree is close to a nebula called Copula, which Vivian E. Robson (The Fixed Stars & Constellations in Astrology) says causes "blindness, defective eyesight, strong passions, hindrances and disappointments." A prominent significator or point near a nebula often shows that we can't see clearly. And, ahem, maybe the querent shouldn't have been showing this person this website at the office. But hindsight is what it is.

Lord 1, the querent's significator, is Mercury, Virgo's ruler. Mercury is also Lord 10, the job. On the plus side, Mercury is well ensconced in the 10th house, so the querent may not have to fear losing his job. It's also ever-so-slightly dignified, being in its face. But it is also in a mute sign, a detail which may be relevant to our answer.

Moon, the querent's co-significator, is in Capricorn in the 4th house. Not only is it in its own detriment here, but being within 8 degrees of the opposition to the Sun, it's as weak as if it were combust. When the Moon is full, it is sated with the Sun's light and has no strength of its own. This weakened Moon reflects the querent's emotional stress about the situation.

Both of the querent's significators are closely connected to Lord 7, Jupiter, significator of the querent's colleague at work. (People on the same level as ourselves at work are 7th-house figures: peers, "other people.") Mercury applies immediately to oppose it; Moon has just separated from conjunction with it. And this is a mean Jupiter, not a nice, jolly benefactor at all. What makes Jupiter so yucky? It's in the sign of its fall, and also retrograde. Plus, Moon and Jupiter together in Capricorn are just a miserable couple, because they receive each other into their detriment/fall. In this mutually unfortunate reception, they can't stand themselves or each other.

We see from the separating conjunction that the querent (Moon) and his colleague (Jupiter) have just had a less-than-positive interaction. The good news is that this is the worst it will get: Moon is already one degree separated from Jupiter and pulling away. Getting on with its life, as it were. That is what I advised the querent: if you haven't been reprimanded yet, you won't be.

That said, there's still the applying Mercury/Jupiter opposition for us to consider. Mercury in Cancer exalts this Jupiter: the querent as Mercury exalts the colleague, or, more precisely, he exalts her opinion of him. But Jupiter is in no dignity or debility of Mercury: she's indifferent to him as Mercury.

So, when the querent followed up by asking me, "Should I go apologize again?" I looked at the applying opposition and told him not to bring it up again. As I said above, his significator, Mercury, is in Cancer, a mute sign - that is, not good for talking or expressing an apology. And the opposition is the aspect of regret and separation. In short, if he moves forward toward Jupiter - if he brings the topic up again - he'll wish he hadn't. (I asked, and he admitted that she seemed to accept his original apology and embarrassment for what they were.)

So I hope I've read it correctly. The worst has already happened; further discussion with the colleague is not recommended. I hope I'm not conjunct a nebula myself.

This is your chance to let go of replaying past emotions and remain in the present. Look at the person and situation with fresh eyes and open mind/heart. You also get the opportunity to speak or convey what you feel from deep within without blaming the other person. It is a form of truthful non-violent communications. Realizing that each person may have different point of view, and from time to time you may disagree yet you both decide to find middle ground. In this way, you choose to accept and honor all concerned while remaining true to yourself. It is a nice way to re-balance expression of feelings and emotions whilst taking self-responsibility for how you respond or react. Use your awareness and do not point fingers and linger too long in past wounds. Remember talk it through and be sensitive to the Other's energy and situation. No need to keep a old power struggle going.

As you free yourself from this past issue, you may find an incredible sense of nurturing, healing happening, deep within your emotional self, which will be felt into the physical body's well-being.

This is the dance between Mercury/Ceres in Cancer opposition to Jupiter in Capricorn retrograde on July 19th.

How have you noticed this energy within family unfold? What will you choose to nurture?

Taurus (April 20-May 20): All your decisions -- what to wear, how to move your money in the stock market, whom to love -- benefit from an instinctual approach. Stop thinking and listen to what your feelings are trying to tell you.

Gemini (May 21-June 21): Your energy doubles when you cut out worry from your emotional diet. It also helps that a change in your work environment allows you more freedom. You'll be flexing your creative muscles to great response.

Cancer (June 22-July 22): You're so receptive now that the people around you feel compelled to teach or reveal information to you. Ask questions that never occurred to you to ask before.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): This is a crucial day for a project you've got going on. Take the time to plan your next steps. It's the best way to ensure that it all gets done.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Sometimes being focused on small things hangs you up. But now the opposite is true. The attention you give to detail will free you and help you better appreciate the work at hand.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): You'll be running damage control for a mistake that someone else made. Before going with the first solution that pops into your head, think of 10 and then go with the best.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21): Your private worry will go away if you ignore it long enough. In the words of novelist Robert Louis Stevenson, "Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others."

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There's a community of creative people just waiting for you to join them and add your ideas to the mix. Show up where like-minded folks are likely to gather.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sometimes living by the rules helps you excel in your endeavor, and then there are days like this when the opposite is probably true. Break from your routine and play hooky.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Though you have dreams of winning the lottery, it's easy to recognize today that in many ways you already have. Your relationships are strong and getting stronger -- what more is there?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Time accelerates when you're with a certain someone -- maybe it has something to do with your heart rate going up at the very sight of this person. Anyway, you're smitten.

Today's birthday (July 18): It's a big world out there and this year your awareness of it explodes. Follow your curiosity through August -- it leads to a fascinating new relationship. You're making money in a different way through September. Capricorn and Scorpio are your fans. Your lucky numbers are 9, 30, 15, 43 and 17.

Last night was interesting.  The Guitar Guy saga is already sort of going stale at this point, but it's important for me to say that for the past three months, the flirtation going on there has been a collection of some of the sexiest, most intense moments I've ever experienced, and it's really tragic that 

• a.) he has a girlfriend 
  
• b.) he now knows that I know about her and
  
• c.) that I launched this blog after all the good stuff

Last night, it seemed like things were finally going to ramp back up to normal.  That's really all I can hope for now, is that things end on a good note, rather than the initial happy-ending I wanted that involved an empty box of Trojans and several variations of the verb "to worship."

So, when, at the beginning of the evening, he came to order food from me, and did it by walking at me until I was against a wall, and we stood nearly nose-to-nose, speaking about perfectly polite things, such as whether there would be bacon on the hamburgers, but with under-toned smiles that suggested so much more.

He asked me if he should pay right then, and I told him it was up to him, and then basically made the decision for him by taking his credit card.  I think, in retrospect, that he wanted to drag out the process so he'd have further excuses to come talk to me, but honestly, we should be beyond that point by now, and were before the Great Revelation.  

He said, "Just make sure you bring it back to me," and I responded, "I always do," with a bit of confusion.  He muttered something about having to chase me around for it, and I turned around, holding the card to my chest and said, "Would you?"

He flashed me a smile, and assured me, "you bet."

So, that all went off without a hitch, and I danced around the first band set of the evening, thrilled with the indication that things were going back to the way they were, and should be, all the while flashing (and receiving) sex eyes to the stage.

When one of the back-up singers ordered from me a little later, I hurried her order so I would have an excuse to see him, but when I got backstage to drop it off to her, he looked slightly dejected, and handed me my credit slip, letting me know that he was just on his way down to give it to me.  

I suppose there would've been more banter if he'd made it to the deserted side station rather than having to hand it to me in the well-lit green room, but, yeah, he doesn't need an excuse to come hit on me, and he should know that.

So, a bit irritated, I went to the bar to put in more orders, and was standing at the computer, with my back to the bar while he stood at the bar with his back to me, getting water from the no-nonsense Lead Bartender, a short, black woman with very little use for romantic ideals or people who move slowly or without efficiency.  

I didn't hear this, because I was pissed off and distracted, but apparently she handed him his water, pointed to me, and said, "You two back together yet?"

Now, that's enough to make me die by vaporization.  Who told her?  No one?  We're that obvious?  What?

But, apparently (and mercifully), his response was to be startled, then immediately slightly amused, and he responded, "Oh, no ... not quite yet."

If you'll allow me to bullet point again, this is awesome because

• a.) He didn't even attempt to pretend that he didn't know what she was talking about
• b.) he was amused, not horrified
• c.) he used the modifier "yet."  This is exactly the answer I would've given.

However, I spent the next several hours obsessively demanding more detail from the waitress that overheard the exchange and reported it to me.  I feared that this confrontation would freak him out and distance him more, etc. etc. etc.

True to form, the eye contact was slightly more restrained for the remainder of the night.  Not as bad as Tuesday's absurd "look, get caught, jump, stare and the ground for the next ten minutes" routine, but not to full scale by any means.

At the end of the night, when he was all packed up and ready to go, I dawdled around so I could say goodbye.  He tried to disregard me, so I stood and waited for him to turn and acknowledge me, and I said, "are you taking off?"

A bit stupidly, he joked, "Taking off my clothes?" and I said, "What right here?" 

He laughed and said, "A little later on.  It's a private show."  

"Oh," I said, cracking a smile.  "Is that an invitation?"

Which clearly startled him (two points for me), and he started muttering some nonsense about getting paid off by a table, which I asked if it was one of mine, and then upon confirmation said that it usually is.

Out of mercy, I cut him off before he could ramble any more ridiculousness, and asked him if he were taking off for the weekend, which is what I originally meant.  He said no, that he'd be there on Saturday, and I said,

"Good.  I only ask because I'm leaving in two weeks."

"I know," he said, "It's sad."  and I shrugged, wanting to let him know that it doesn't necessarily have to be.

"Well, if I don't see you -," I said, and hugged him.  It was important for me to get a hug in there, as we used to hug constantly and inappropriately before the Great Revelation, but hadn't since.  So, this was the first one.

He told me he was going to stick around and have a drink.  So, I wrapped up quickly and hung out downstairs while he drank and talked to EVERYONE IN THE ROOM BUT ME.

This marginally irritated me until he mentioned to my roommate (who is a Libra, and it was relevant to the conversation) that both of his parents are Libras, and then while she was responding, muttered under his breath, "As is my current girlfriend."

At this point, I snapped, "Okay, time to go," and grabbed my bag, grabbed my roommate, and swung out of the club.  I hope he feels like a dunce about it.  It's really unfortunate every time I realize just how human he is and just how nervous I make him.  

It's hotter to feel like there's this supernaturally sexy guitar player who wants me, and that's the most complicated thing about it.

Jenna and I got home, and then drank wine and talked about other lost opportunities to Gwags, that have always ended in too-little-too-late scenarios on their parts, where years later they confess to wanting us so badly then but how they tried to "do the right thing," blah blah blah.  

I'm still kind of dejected about the whole thing, but at least, since it's the Other Guitarist tonight, I'll be able to focus on making money and not obsessing over making out.