Carrot was the newest vegetable (hitherto unseen) to that place. Palace Chef made every recipe with a dash of carrot. Carrot took the very special place in the dinner of the day. The dinner was very delicious

Tasting the carrot for the first time, Akbar became joyous and his happiness knew no bounds. "There would be no better vegetable than Carrots in the creation of God", praised the King. The next seater Birbal "Yes my Lord Carrot is the most wonderful vegetable that I have ever seen" joined praising alongwith the King.

King Akbar himself got so much pleased with the vegetable and everyday wouldn't pass without carrot-made recipe. Almost every dish would have the carrot in one form or another like grated or minced.

Days passed by . By daily taking the carrot flavoured foods King Akbar got some kind of aversion to the vegetable now. One day he got fully tensed against the carrot on seeing it served on the table. He immediately fall upon the serving assistants, "Take away, Take away, is this a vegetable worth serving here" Saying this he turned to Birbal.

Now Birbal told the King Akbar, "Yes my Lord, this is the worst vegetable, it is not even fit to be called as a vegetable"

King Akbar gave a momentary thought for a while and said, "Birbal, the other day you were praising a lot for this vegetable How come today you are talking against it"

Birbal humbly said, "Lord Yes you are right my Lord, I am your servant and not carrot's."

Santosh Sivan is one of those very few DOP turned directors that are spoken of nowadays. In spite of their box office results, Santosh Sivan’s films always create expectations. It is not often that we see a wide release of his films. And when they do, it is wise to catch them up on the big screen. Watching Tahaan: A Boy With A Grenade, it is inevitable for one to be reminded of his staggering work Theeviravaathi: The Terrorist (1999), for both graze similar and contemporary themes.

Set and shot is the paradisal Indian (!) state of Kashmir, Tahaan (Purav Bhandare) is the story of a young boy of the same name and his friend/donkey Birbal. Situations change for the worse and Tahaan is forced to separate from Birbal. Tahaan is shattered and decides to get back Birbal at any expense. For this, Tahaan travels from one place to another, meeting one character to another and facing one peril to another, in the end being exploited in many ways, much like Birbal himself. Meanwhile, his mute mother (Sarika) is desperately is search for her husband, who went missing three years ago. Though in utter distress, her only hope is a miracle, which seems to be the only way out for all of the valley’s residents. Amidst the echoes of bombs and bullets in the serene valley, Tahaan’s objective, however, remains simple and straightforward – Get Birbal back. Unlike Malli of The Terrorist, Tahaan’s primary aim is utterly disjoint from the state of the affairs of the country.

Made in the same tradition as Iranian gems such as Marooned in Iraq (2002), Turtles Can Fly (2004) and a few others, Tahaan is tightly grounded in the culture of the state and also in the present political turmoil of the region. Unlike many of its Iranian counterparts that enthrall the audience with the sheer simplicity of their plot, Santosh Sivan’s script tries to bring in the larger issues into the picture, but never once changing perspective or taking a stand. Thus, Tahaan strictly remains a story of the titular character, without any pretense.

Few directors in India remain in the same cadre as Sivan when it comes to visual composition. If it was the haunting and dense jungles of coastline Lanka in The Terrorist, it is the vast and white snowy stretches of Kashmir in Tahaan. Sivan’s cinematography effectively uses the widescreen to capture the awe-inspiring peaks of Kashmir in its entirety. The sound design needs a definite mention for its remarkable ear for detail and naturalness with its borderline synchronized sound.

No complaints in the acting department of the film. Anupam Kher is at his easy best and churns out the best performance of the film. All his lines succeed, in spite of being very mediocre and deliberately inserted. Sarika’s self-assuring quietness and her countenance gel well with her character and makes it a very credible effort. Rahul Bose, after a series of debacles, shines as a dimwit in his earthy and lovable role. Purav Bhandare, who plays the title character, does a decent job too.

Like The Terrorist, Sivan goes totally minimalist, in spite of not being under financial constraints this time around. This particularly shows in the film’s near-zero depiction of on-screen violence and its stubbornness against visual extravaganza, reminding us again of its spectacular predecessor.  This not only reminds us that grandness does not necessitate lavishness but also shows how Tahaan is shielded from the trauma of war, which apparently is the need of the hour. However, Tahaan does differ from The Terrorist, unfortunately, for the worse. More verbose and noisier than the former, Tahaan tries hard to elucidate the protagonist’s charm and bring in calculated humour, which could have been made very self-sufficient considering the quality of the material at hand. As a result, Tahaan does not linger in the minds of the viewers permanently and fails to stalk them long after the movie is over.

Though more overtly dramatic and conventional than The Terrorist, Tahaan may, to an extent, serve as a companion piece to it. The Terrorist depicts how the basic human nature is interminable and unalterable be what the external situation whereas Tahaan shows how the innocence of childhood is unduly exploited by (anti) social elements, although it remains untainted by them.

Verdict:

Manoj Kumar sues SRK's firm for Re 1.

Either he really thinks the 1 Re. signifies pride, or he has seen Rajnikanth's Sivaji too many times and wants to try the famous coin trick himself.

And all this in the land of Chanakya, Birbal and Tenali Ramakrishna (although I do remember they used to carry around bagfuls of coins). While I do admit wit has given way to slapstick, the quality of being able to laugh at oneself has sadly, almost become extinct.

Then the emperor had a brainwave. He offered a reward of 1000 gold coins to any man who could come to the palace observing the following condition. The man had to walk in the sun without an umbrella but he had to be in the shade at the same time.
"Impossible," said the people.

Then a villager came carrying a string cot over his head and claimed the prize.

"I've walked in the sun but at the same time I was in the shade of the strings of the cot," he said. It was a brilliant solution. On interrogation the villager confessed that the idea had been suggested to him by a man living with him.

"It could only be Birbal!" said the emperor, delighted. Sure enough it was Birbal and he and the emperor had a joyous reunion.

The next day when the gardener was asked what his last wish was before he was hanged, he requested an audience with the emperor. This wish was granted, but when the man neared the throne he loudly cleared his throat and spat at the emperor’s feet. The emperor was taken aback and demanded to know why he had done such a thing. The gardener had acted on Birbal’s advice and now Birbal stepped forward in the man’s defence.

"Your Majesty," he said, "there could be no person more loyal to you than this unfortunate man. Fearing that people would say you hanged him for a trifle, he has gone out of his way to give you a genuine reason for hanging him."

The emperor, realising that he had been about to do a great injustice, set the man free.

"Cabbages are such delightful vegetables!" said Akbar. "I just love cabbage."

"The cabbage is king of vegetables!" said Birbal.

A few weeks later they were riding past the cabbage patch again. This time however, the emperor made a face when he saw the vegetables. "I used to love cabbage but now I have no taste for it." said Akbar.

"The cabbage is a tasteless vegetable" agreed Birbal.

The emperor was astonished.

"But the last time you said it was the king of vegetables!" he said.

"I did," admitted Birbal. "But I am your servant Your Majesty, not the cabbage's."

"My child was crying and I had to placate him," explained the courtier.

"Does it take so long to calm down a child?" asked the emperor. "It appears you know nothing about child rearing. Now you pretend to be a child and I shall act as your father and I will show you how you should have dealt with your child. Go on, ask me for whatever he asked of you."

"I want a cow," said Birbal.

Akbar ordered a cow to be brought to the palace.

"I want its milk. I want its milk," said Birbal, imitating the voice of a small child.

"Milk the cow and give to him," said Akbar to his servants.

The cow was milked and the milk was offered to Birbal. He drank a little and then handed the bowl back to Akbar.

"Now put the rest of it back into the cow, put it back, put in back, put it back..." wailed Birbal.

The emperor was flabbergasted and quietly left the room.

Technorati Profile

In due course, Birbal arrived in Iran.

When he entered the palace he was flabbergasted to find not one but six kings seated there. All looked alike. All were dressed in kingly robes. Who was the real king?

The very next moment he got his answer. Confidently, he approached the king and bowed to him.

"But how did you identify me?" the king asked, puzzled.

Birbal smiled and explained: "The false kings were all looking at you, while you yourself looked straight ahead. Even in regal robes, the common people will always look to their king for support."

Overjoyed, the king embraced Birbal and showered him with gifts.

One day they approached Birbal and asked him to settle the dispute.

Birbal said to them: "There is only one way to settle the matter. Pluck all the fruits on the tree and divide them equally between the two of you. Then cut down the tree and divide the wood".

Ramu thought it was a fair judgement and said so.

But Shamu was horrified. "Your Honour" he said to Birbal "I've tended that tree for seven years. I'd rather let Ramu have it than see it cut down."

"Your concern for the tree has told me all I wanted to know" said Birbal, and declared Shamu the true owner of the tree.

One by one, they played the most heavenly music but the bull paid no attention.

Then Birbal took the stage. His music sounded like the droning of mosquitoes and the mooing of cows. But to everyone's amazement the bull suddenly became alert and began to move in a lively manner.

Akbar declared Birbal the winner.

To which the reply was 'But hazoor, I am a minister, how can I possibly paint?'.

The king was angry and said 'If I don’t get a good painting by one week then you shall be hanged!'.

The clever Birbal had an idea. After one week, he went to the court and with him he carried a covered frame.

Akbar was happy to see that Birbal had obeyed him, until he opened the cover. The courtiers rushed to see what was wrong. What they saw made them feel very happy. At last, they would not see Birbal in court!

The painting was nothing but ground and sky. There were a few specs of green on the ground.

The Emperor, angrily, told Birbal 'what is this!'

To which the reply was 'A cow eating grass hazoor!'.

Akbar said 'where is the cow and grass?' and Birbal told 'I used my imagination. The cow ate the grass and returned to its shed!'

Akbar was shocked to hear this beause the place where that minister lived was the safest place in the kingdom. He invited Birbal to solve the mystery.

Birbal said "It is definitely not possible for an outsider to enter into the minister's house and steal the valuables. This blunder is definitely committed only by another minister of that court."

Saying so he arranged for a donkey to be tied to a pillar. He ordered all the courtiers to lift the donkey's tail and say "I have not stolen." Birbal added "Only then we can judge the culprit."

After everyone had finished, he asked the courtiers to show their palm to him. All the courtiers except Alim Khan had a black patch of paint on their palm.

Birbal had actually painted the donkey's tail with a black coat of paint. In the fright, the guilty minister did not touch the donkey's tail at all.

Thus Birbal once again proved his intelligence and was rewarded by the king with 1000 gold coins.

Once he had a visitor who had come to treat their niece. The child's parents were killed in front of the girl's eyes. Once she saw the saint, she started to scream loudly saying that that saint was the culprit.

Angered by the girl's words the saint demanded the couple to get away with their child. The whole day the girl cried which made the couple to realize that the girl was not lying.

Therefore, they decided to seek the help of Raja Birbal.

Birbal consoled them and asked them to wait at the Emperor's assembly. Birbal had invited the saint to Akbar's court too. Then in front of all the ministers he drew a sword and neared the saint to kill him.

The blind saint in bewilderment immediately drew another sword and began to fight.

Thus by this act of the saint it was proved that he was'nt blind.

Therefore Akbar demanded to hang the culprit and rewarded the girl for her bravery for telling the truth even at the critical situation.

Raja Birbal had requested Akbar to give him a week’s time.

The next day Raja Birbal was found to be mending shoes in the town market.

People were astonished to see Birbal doing such work. Many of them started to question "Birbal!! What are you doing?"

Once when he was asked this question by someone he started writing something.

It continued for a week when on the 7th day King Akbar himself asked Birbal the same question.

Giving him no answer, Birbal reported at the court the next day and handed over a note to King Akbar.

Akbar read the note when he found that it was the big list of people who were blind. Emperor Akbar was stunned when he found his own name in the list. Angered by this, Akbar asked Birbal the reason for writing his name in the list.

Birbal said "O! My majesty! Like all other people you also saw me mending the slippers but you still asked me what I was doing. Therefore I had to include your name too."

Akbar started laughing at this and everyone enjoyed Birbal's sense of humour.

A famous astrologer had come from a far away country. He was talking about the Solar System and the Earth's shape.

At one point Akbar said, "If the earth is round, and if one travel strait towards one direction, he will come back to the same spot from where he has started the journey."

"Theoretically it is correct", said the astrologer.

"Why not in real life?", asked the king.

"One has to cross oceans, mountains and forests to keep the path straight." the astrologer said.

"Sail through the oceans, make tunnels in the mountains and use elephants to cross the forests." Akbar found the solution.

"Still it is impossible" said the astrologer.

"Why?" Asked Akbar.

"It may take years to complete the whole journey" said the astrologer

"Years? How many?" asked Akbar.

"I don't know. May be a hundred years or more" said the astrologer.

"Don't worry I will ask my ministers. They have an answer for everything" Akbar looked at the ministers.

"Impossible to calculate"; "Around 25 years"; "Fifty years or less"; "80 days"
Different ministers came up with different answers.

"Why Birbal, you haven't uttered a word" the king showed his surprise at Birbal's silence.

"I was just calculating the time required to go round the earth" explained Birbal.

"And did you get the answer?" asked the king.

"Sure." Said Birbal "It will take just one day."

"Just one day! Birbal it is Impossible! Even it will take more than one day to cross our country." Said Akbar.

"It is possible. Provided you travel at the speed of the Sun" said Birbal with a smile.

Now Birbal's position (Deevaan or Minister) could not be kept empty so the king appointed his brother-in-law (wife' brother) in Birbal's place. Although Akbar didn't like this but he had to do this to please his wife. Very soon the city got undisciplined and complaints started coming to the king.

This was the time to test his brother-in-law's intelligence. So he went out to a Peer's Mazaar (the tomb of a saint). While returning from there he saw a footmark of an elephant. He asked his brother-in-law to protect that mark for three days. Badshah (king) went to his palace and his brother-in-law starting vigilance around it. The first day passed, the new Deevaan could not get any food; the second day also passed without any food. The third day he got very weak, but somehow survived. The fourth day he went to the king and told everything to him.

Badshah thought "I have to call Birbal back, I can't do with this Deevaan." So he found a way to get him back. He announced that there is some quarrel over a government well so all Zameendaar (owner) of nearby villages should come to him with their wells, otherwise they will have to pay fine of 10,000 Rupees (Indian currency).

This order was heard in that village also min which Birbal lived. Its Zameendaar abused the king that "That this king has gone mad. Has anybody ever heard moving wells to other places? But if I did not go then I will have to pay 10,000 Rupees fine which is a lot of money."

When Birbal heard this, he knew that it was a trick to find Birbal. He thought that now is the time to reveal his identity and keep king's words. So he explained something to the Zameendaar and next day the Zameendaar along with Birbal and some of his servants arrived in Delhi. They did not enter the city, they stayed outside the city and sent a messenger to king - "Hazoor, According to your orders we are here with our wells, now you sent your wells to welcome them."

When Akbar heard this, he understood that Birbal was there. He asked the Zameendaar - "Who told this to tell me? Tell me the truth." The Zameendaar said - "Some time ago, a stranger came to stay in our village, he has asked us to tell you this." When asked about his form, it matched Birbal's. Then he sent his people to welcome Birbal and he was brought into the city with a great pomp and show. Birbal was again appointed on his old position.

This time the king asked Birbal to protect that footmark of elephant. Birbal said "Done". He fixed an iron bar near the footmark and tied a 50-yard rope to it and told the villagers that whoever's house will fall inside the circumference of that rope his house will be demolished to protect that footmark."

People requested him not to do so and gave him Rupees as bribery not to demolish their house. Thus he collected approximately 100,000 (1 Lakh) Rupees. He deposited that money in the royal treasury and told the king that the work is done and 100,000 Rupees have been deposited in his treasury.

The king called his brother-in-law and said to him - "You were hungry for three days and gained nothing while protecting the footmark, but see, Birbal has earned 100,00 Rupees in one day only. That is why you can never be my Deevaan." The brother-in-law went away from there hanging his head down.

Birbal smiled and replied, "This is true, but they fear you too, Jahaanpanaah." Akbar could not agree on this, so it was decided that Birbal's statement should be tested.

Next day, according to Birbal's instructions, the King announced that he would be going for hunting, and people should pour a pot of milk in a tub kept in the courtyard.

Next day when Akbar returned from hunting, he found that there was no milk in the tub, instead there was only water. Akbar got very disappointed, but couldn't do anything.

Then Birbal said, "This time you will announce that you will come back and see the tub yourself." King did as Birbal said. Once again the tub was kept in the courtyard.

This time when King returned from the hunting, he found the tub overflowing with milk.

Bitbal said, "I told you. It is your fear which made people obey you. The first time there was no one to check the tub, so people poured the water, but the second time, they knew that you would check yourself, that is why they brought the milk."

One day Akbar praised Birbal in front of the courtier. This made this courtier very angry and he said that the Emperor praised Birbal unjustly and if Birbal could answer his three questions, he would accept the fact that Birbal was intelligent. Akbar knew that Birbal will win so he immediately agreed.

His three questions were
1. How many stars were there in the sky
2. Where was the center of the Earth and
3. How many men and how many women were there in the world.

Immediately Akbar asked Birbal these three questions and instructed him that if he could not answer them, he would have to resign from the chief minister's position.

To answer the first question, Birbal brought a sheep and said “There are as many stars in the sky as there is hair on this sheep’s body. My friend, the courtier, is welcome to count them if he likes.”

To answer the second question, Birbal drew a couple of lines on the floor and bore an iron rod in it and said “this is the center of the Earth, the courtier may measure it himself if he doubts.”

In answer to the third question, Birbal said “Counting the exact number of men and women in the world would be a problem as there are some specimens like our courtier friend here who cannot easily be classified as either. Therefore if all people like him are killed, then and only then can one count the exact number of men and women.”

Akbar became very happy as always, and that courtier went away without saying a word.