Beaten and alone, a child dies. But Jesus cares.

It was certainly sad to hear that I may not be good enough for certain people. Expectations abound, I know I did my best. If that is not good enough, then it makes even more sense to scooter off. If life dishes you with lemons... you need to find the tea and ice. And I think it is time for me to find my tea.

It is certainly disappointing. Certainly. High expectations with little or no support... no help for the development of the person either. From another perspective, it just means that I could be plain stubborn, and I am expected to learn to fend for myself. Two misfires under my belt, two unhappy people, three stubborn people... am I overly emotional? Perhaps not objective enough?

I was given a golden coin to be myself, but that currency was not accepted elsewhere. Now I have got to watch the words of blame and condemnation ringing in the head, and wonder what else should I be doing. I should? Or I be?

The skin as a cage

The soul with no age

I'm choking in fear.

The breath as a choke

The world as a joke

The touch as a poke

I'm breathing the fear.

The wind as a flame

The life as a blame

The face as a shame

I'm seeing the fear.

The sight as a blade

The light as a shade

The heart as a spade

I'm running in fear.

The run as a leak

The dream as a peak

The find as a seek

I'm screaming in fear.

The voice as a roar

The feel as a soar

The day as before

I'm living the fear.

The living as dieing

The speaking as lieing

The looking as prying

I'm fearing the fear.

The smile as a cry

The kind as a sly

The take as a buy

I'm treading on fear.

I am one of those people. If there is a foot to be put in a mouth, you can almost guarantee that it will be my foot, and my mouth. However, I do attempt to exercise a modicum of restraint in most conversations. I use the rule “Engage Brain, Before Opening Mouth”. Sometimes this mechanism fails, but I expect to be pulled up on my stupidity/verbosity/insensitivity. Recently I have had to bite my tongue on a number of occasions when people have said daft things to me. This was this weeks winner:
“For God’s sake Lola, why can’t you just eat normally, there are starving people in Africa”

Thanks Mum, your support is overwhelming. Evidently I am now responsible for third world debt and famine. Sorry Mr Geldof, if it makes any difference, I bought a copy of Feed the World…

NB: Wondering if now would be a good time to take responsibility for The Hole in the Ozone Layer, The War in Iraq, The Plight of the Siberian Tiger, and possibly The invention of the Crazy Frog ringtone?

Jason loves me so much and this is what I do to him! I feel so terrible!!! :'(

... :( He took his frustration out at me when he came back from a hard day of work and I got all huffed up and insulted at his mentioning that my work looked like a game to him and I walked off to bed. I didn't give him dinner and neither did I prepare anything for breakfast!!! I actually intentionally hurt the love of my life!!!! I don't think even God would forgive me!!! :'( I feel like crying.. Why do I behave this way sometimes?

He takes care of me and caters to my every need and wish.. He loves me with the whole of his heart and would never cheat on me. He loves the food I make for him and he likes spending time with me. Yet, what do I do... I hurt him, Again and again! :/

Fine!I don't have a job. But that is not his fault! He is also trying to get me a job somehow.. and then WHY did I have to treat him the way I just did! I don't think there is anything I could do to compensate for what I did :/ But what is it about the computer and the internet that is SO tempting to him and cant be put away for his girl, I cannot imagine! :( I feel so lonely when he sits in front of the computer..because the moment that happens, he completely looses every other sense of whats happening around him.. :(

I did not even hug him yesterday night.. and neither did I give him any kisses when he went to office today.. and I made him go to bed hungry and go to office hungry today morning... :/

It is all my fault... :/ and I am not able to make up with him coz' lost time can never be made up for.. :(

....

But he too did not come to talk to me after venting out his frustration.. He could have just come near me at least.. He knows how fast I forgive him.. It really hurt me when he compared my field of work to a game..:/ and even I have not eaten anything in the past 1 day...

... Whats the use...? I was completely wrong and there is nothing I can do to make up with him over this :( and he is never going to forget this either.. :(

"Neither Novacek nor Mar seemed open to the possibility that maybe it wouldn't work out that way, that neither the media nor the candidate would bear the brunt of the finger-pointing after a loss. They didn't seem to care that they might be dooming their heroine to a legacy she never sought and certainly does not want."

Which, sounds logical on the surface, but I can't help thinking how if key figures throughout history had been scared to speak out by the possible negative ramifications of their actions ... would we even be here right now at all?

Free country, Free thought, Freedom of Speech - These PUMAs have something to say, let them say it. I'm not understanding how or why they should be shoved in a corner and told to shut up for the sake of ... political party harmony? And I don't see why Senator Hillary Clinton should have to bear the brunt of blame for a group of people with the conviction to stand up for their own opinions. She's doing what she has to do, and PUMAs are doing what they have to do.

I seem to recall a certain Barack (Barry) Obama himself making statements about not being responsible for and not believing he should be judged by the actions and comments of OTHER people ... hmmm?

It works both ways.

Today I can complain because the weather is rainy
or I can be thankful that the grass is getting watered for free.

Today I can feel sad that I don't have more money
or I can be glad that my finances encourage me to plan my purchases wisely and guide me away from waste.

Today I can grumble about my health
or I can rejoice that I am alive.

Today I can lament over all that my parents didn't give me when I was growing up
or I can feel grateful that they allowed me to be born.

Today I can cry because roses have thorns
or I can celebrate that thorns have roses.

Today I can mourn my lack of friends
or I can excitedly embark upon a quest to discover new relationships.

Today I can whine because I have to go to work
or I can shout for joy because I have a job to do.

Today I can complain because I have to go to school
or eagerly open my mind and fill it with rich new tidbits of knowledge.

Today I can murmur dejectedly because I have to do housework
or I can feel honored because the Lord has provided shelter for my mind, body and soul.

Today stretches ahead of me, waiting to be shaped. And here I am, the sculptor who gets to do the shaping.

What today will be like is up to me. I get to choose what kind of day I will have!

Moral:
Have a GREAT DAY ... unless you have other plans.

It takes a shift of position, a shift in the language and the reference you are using. Notice I used “you” in that sentence, and that alone may cause some negative feelings.

The shift in the language that could take place is this:

Frame the issue,

When you ____________________________ (do something that is disagrees with your values)

I feel ________________________________(describe the feeling – upset, angry, …)

Because _____________________________ (why do you feel that way)

What does that do for the other person? Does it help them see why you may be upset with the issue? Does it change the plane of reference – a shift from them to “you”.

Often heated conversations are about transferring blame without transferring understanding. Will the format used above help inform the listener of the issue without transferring blame?

♣  Nagging doesn’t get more offensive than that which tampers with his sense of sexual significance.

♣  Marital longevity shortens under pressure of sexually accessible women outside the home. The sisterhood’s sexual freedom thus devalues marriage.

♣  Women favor to live with a man rather than spend time choosing a great mate. One made less great, because he begrudges his predecessor(s).

♣  To satisfy their self-centeredness and exercise their will over others, women use conditional love to manipulate their man and raise their children. The effect torments everyone.

♣  The more that women practice masculine-style sexual freedom, the more dedicated becomes the sex-chasing lifestyle of men. Things domestic lose their allure.

♣  Trying to change a man sours his affection for whoever tries. Her pressure offends.

♣  After split up, she’s the only one qualified to tell her how wrong she may have been. But listening to others eases her pain.

[More about female malpractice appears in posts 278, 236, 221, 206, 189, 175, 164, and 150. Scroll down or search for the number with a dot and space following it.]

The band will do a short tour in late October with Agency mates Dark The Suns.

The new videoclip can be viewed at youtube.com

Further links:
http://www.gothamod.com
http://www.myspace.com/gothamod
http://www.last.fm/music/Gotham+O.D

what am i doing?
im sitting here at my desk like every other night talking to my friends and looking stuff up.
why?
because i enjoy it? right?... i think so
well of course i do but i should be doing other things right? i do have a life its just at the moment not a very upbeat one... is that my fault? probably... but the question that matters most is do i care that its my fault...

From WebMD August 21st, 2008..

Measles Outbreaks.. (in part, emphasis mine)

Measles Outbreaks Worry CDC

Surge in Measles Cases Blamed on Parents Who Won't Vaccinate Kids

By Daniel J. DeNoon
WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Aug. 21, 2008 -- CDC officials worry that a surge in U.S. measles outbreaks means a return of the disease to American shores.

In 2000, the CDC declared that measles no longer was spreading in the U.S. Since then, there have been an average of 63 cases a year that come from infections acquired outside the U.S.

But as of July of this year, there have already been 131 U.S. measles cases. The number of imported cases hasn't gone up, but the disease is spreading much more readily. Four-fifths of the cases came in seven measles outbreaks.

Who's spreading the disease? It's largely children who don't get vaccinated because their parents hold "philosophical or religious beliefs" against vaccination, the CDC says.

"Even with our current extremely high vaccination rates, we could have significant pockets of people in outbreaks. And if vaccine coverage levels fall, we risk many more outbreaks. We are concerned," Jane Seward, MB, MPH, deputy director of the CDC's viral disease division, said at a news conference.

***

This year's two biggest measles outbreaks came in Washington State and in Illinois.

In Washington, an unvaccinated child likely caught measles at a church conference attended by 3,000 junior high school students, some from foreign nations. That child infected seven other children in her household; they spread measles to 11 other people. Of the 19 cases, 16 were school-age children. Eleven of these kids were homeschooled; none was vaccinated because of their parents' beliefs.

***

Very high coverage rates are necessary because measles is one of the most contagious diseases known to man. If a person with measles coughs in a room of 100 unvaccinated people, Seward says, 90 to 95 of those people will get the measles.

And many of these people would get very ill. Uncomplicated measles is a serious illness, but some kids who get the illness come down with life-threatening encephalitis or pneumonia. In the years before vaccination became common, a few children each year developed a very rare measles complication called subacute sclerotic panencephalitis -- a degenerative brain disease that is almost always fatal but which can take up to 10 years to kill.

***

Most at risk are people who can't take the measles vaccine -- very young children and people suffering cancer or immune disorders.

Fortunately, none of the U.S. measles cases this year has been fatal, although 15 people were hospitalized -- including four babies under 15 months of age. But there were two deaths in Europe this year, one in Italy and one in the U.K.

The increase in measles outbreaks is a direct result of the parents who refuse to vaccinate their children.

It is not, as some of these parents would argue, a result of poor nutrition or the "Big Pharma" propaganda machine that would see these faceless conspirators put poison into our childrens' bodies simply to make money.

How many preventable deaths will be too many?

~~~

"Nothing is more terrible than ignorance in action." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them." ~ Isaac Asimov

~~~

The toastmaster was well under way. The crowd sang with that respectably restrained enthusiasm that typified a Parents' Night program. Then Jimmie Davis arose to give his oration. This was the moment he had looked forward to for many weeks. As he arose, he caught a glimpse of his mother's beaming face and his father's stolid assured countenance. He started with a great burst of enthusiasm. He waxed more eloquent, conscious that his listeners were paying a high tribute to him by their careful attention.

Then something happened. The world seemed to swim before him. He slowed down - faltered - stopped. His face flushed, his hands sought each other frantically and in desperation he looked helplessly toward his scoutmaster.

And ever prepared, having heard that boyish masterpiece rehearsed again and again, the boy's leader supplied the missing words and the lad went on. But somehow it was different now. The masterpiece had been marred.

Jimmie paused again - and the scoutmaster prompted him again. For the remaining two minutes, the oration seemed more the scoutmaster's than the boy's. But Jimmie finished it. In the heart of the lad who sat down, knowing that he had failed, there was a heavy load. Chagrin was plainly written on the face of the boy's mother, and a twitch of the father's face indicated a pained consciousness of shame.

The audience applauded in a perfunctory way, sorry for and pitying the boy who they thought had failed. But the scoutmaster was on his feet. His quiet eyes twinkled. All listened tensely, for he did not talk loudly. What was he saying?

"I am more happy than any of you can possibly understand because of what has just happened. You have seen a boy make a glorious victory out of what might have been a miserable failure.

"Jimmie had his chance to quit. To have quit would have been easy. But to finish the job even in the face of 200 people required the highest kind of bravery and courage I know.

"You may someday hear a better oratorical effect, but I am confident that you will never see a finer demonstration of the spirit of our troop than Jimmie has just given you - to play the game even under difficulties!"

The people thundered their applause now. Jimmie's mother sat straight and proud. The old look of assurance was back on the face of the boy's father. The entire group was enthusiastic again and Jimmie, with a lump in his throat, said something to the friend beside him that sounded like, "Gee, if I can be that kind of scoutmaster someday."

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stung with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him.

"How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers.

"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

Moral:
Remember next time your little hut is burning to the ground - - it just
may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

Whatever is only almost true is quite false, and among the most dangerous of errors, because being so near truth, it is the more likely to lead astray.

--Henry Ward Beecher

Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

–Unknown

This makes women best qualified for relationship maintenance, which effectively puts them in charge.

It’s easily understandable that whoever’s in charge should be responsible for preventive maintenance. So, a squabble-prevention checklist starts here.  

♥  Cooperation compliments each other.

♣  Competition challenges one or the other.

♣  Loose lips irritate.

♣  Blame inflames.

♣  Argument is counterproductive.

♥  Patience reduces tension.

♥  Discretion shows respect.

♥  Loving silence nags.

♥  Gratefulness seals a deal.

♥  Respect lets him defend her.

♣  Self outweighs Us.

♣  Changing him discredits her judgment.

♣  Two captains in one ship leads to mutiny.

♥  Tact works like WD-40 on a rusty hinge.

♣  Progress stops with loss of temper.  

♥  Submissiveness is an attitude of gratitude, whichever way it flows.

♥  Understanding balances A.D.D. (See post #3)

Prevention is the better part of valor. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.  

The thing about reputation as a musician is that it comes in many subtle forms. There’s of course the large consensus of people out there in the world or Myspace or Pitchfork or wherever: what they think of your music, etc. But there’s also the internal reputation that the creative mind produces along with every work of art. I find when I write a melody, for example, that there’s an inner dialogue that accompanies my composing, a secret assembling of a reputation in relation to what I’m writing. “Are you joking?” it might say. “That major seventh sounds like it belongs in a Billy Joel song. Do you want to end up like Billy Joel, famous but publicly laughed at?” Or, “That ascending leap there, son, that’d make Gershwin proud. They’ll remember you for that one.” It all happens in the twinkling of an eye, but the more intimate I become with my own creative workings the more this dialogue becomes apparent to me.

The thing about this sort of internal praise and blame is that in the short term it can be a help in giving us the courage to finish a piece of music, poetry, or painting. In the long term, though, it usually becomes debilitating. The more you seek your own praise, the more your art starts to imitate itself and you become bored with your creativity. The trick, I think, is to write the note that Billy Joel (or anyone else to whom you have an aversion) would write, and then to defend it, to say to yourself, “No, actually, that’s my note, and it can work in my own context.” Then there’s at least the possibility of growth.

A friend of mine who’s a potter once told me: “It’s all theory until the clay starts to dry.” I think what she meant by that is that when the clay is wet, the way you shape it can be guided by vanity and an unrealistic sense of what you can do. Once the clay starts to dry, though, your options become fewer and fewer, and you’re forced to abandon your sense of yourself as an artist for the reality of what you are doing. That’s why I think that a good artist may be arrogant or egotistical to the public, but he can never be to himself, because he must always be humbled by what is made through him. The potter, in the end, is always servant to the pot.

Tam Lin is a NYC-based singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist whose music has been compared to that of Jeff Buckley, Leonard Cohen, Nick Drake, and David Byrne. You can hear him at http://www.tamlinmusic.com and http://www.myspace.com/tamlinmusic

I received an email yesterday from one of the visitors to my main website, jimconnolly.com.  He explained that he had been trying to generate meetings with prospective clients - but that his marketing had let him down.

I later received an email from a reader of my free marketing newsletter, who told me, point-blank that; "advertising doesn't work!"
.

Stop blaming your tools

In both of these examples, the suggestion was that the failure of these people to generate business was not THEIR fault, but simply that marketing and advertising 'don't work.'  Their problem was not, as they suggested, that marketing only works for some people - Their problem was simply that they were doing it wrong!  For example, a poorly written advertisement, placed in the wrong publication, is unlikely to generate a stack of enquiries or sales!  This does NOT mean that advertising doesn't work!
.

A pile of wood and some nails

Give my friend Tom a pile of wood and some tools and he will turn it into a beautiful piece of furniture.

Give that same equipment to me and I would end up with splinters and a couple of bruised thumbs!  That's because Tom is a master furniture maker, with over 40 years worth of experience and I'm a marketing professional with no furniture making experience or skills. However, when it comes to SELLING that beautiful furniture....
.

Some marketing advice worth taking

Most small and medium-sized businesses rely heavily on free marketing tips and advice from the Internet; at least in the early years of their business.  If you are going to market your business without specialist, expert marketing assistance, please make sure that:

1. You only take marketing advice from proven, trusted sources - like www.jimconnolly.com
   and my free marketing newsletter (see below.)
2. Take time to study marketing and make sure you don't start until you understand each step you need to take.

I just did something most politicians have had trouble doing.  I came out and told the truth about my failure and took 100% responsibility for my actions.  Take note...You are always 100% responsible for anything that is happening to you and the second you try to refute this, you are not taking responsibility.

Today I felt like a million bucks.  I was running around so proud of myself for accomplishing so much stuff and before I knew what was going on...I had a mouth full of food that was not apart of my plan.  Each bite of this tasted like a a time in my life where there were no rules, no game plans, no curfews and no requirements that I follow the laws of society.

Each bite sliced right through the soft dough of the doughnut while the icing melted into sugar crystals right there on my tongue.  The cinnamon chips crunched in my mouth and it reminded my of the french toast my mom used to make me as a kid.  I was one step away from sprinkling powered sugar straight into my mouth just to complete the overall experience.

But just like anything a man tries to justify...it is just that...justification.  What a mistake.  Not initially because I was on 7th heaven.  The sugar raced through my body, spiked my glycemic index and put me in a state of euphoria, until I crashed an hour later at my desk.  Darn it chip manufacturers, damn you Whole Foods for putting out fresh treats at lunch time when everyone is sugar low and darn you "Kenyon"...that's me, for thinking that you deserved such a treat.

The blame game can quickly happen and it happens fast because not many want to accept that the only person at fault is yourself.  So in writing this I acknowledge that I did succumb to the pressures, but the upside of the whole situation is that I am putting this into words.  Now I am liable for my actions.  I am taking responsibility and I am acknowledging to not only you "the reader", but to myself that I do NOT actually deserve such a treat.

Sure it tasted great at the time of consumption, but the other side is that your body has already adjusted itself to a new way of consuming nutrition and no longer has an affinity for it.  Instead it is your brain, your head and/or your natural reaction to consume the goods placed in front of you.

There are studies that show how lower income people that win the lottery end up blowing all the money in a short period of time and end up right backwhere they started.  The reason for this is because they do not have a millionaire mindset.  They have not the necessary skill sets to handle that kind of money.  In a very similar way your body has made the adjustment to this new nutritional way of life, but your mind has a lot of catching up to do.

I have reset my priorities and my beliefs.  I now feel that I am back on the plan that I originally started.  I am going to finish the thirty days with energy, focus and diligence.  If you ever feel like you absolutely must step off the rails then do so, but take notes of how you felt, how you feel and how you think you might feel as this is your own journey and you will gain the most knowledge from learning from yourself.

We all can be our own counsel and only you can talk to yourself and hear what you need to hear, right or wrong its your path to walk.

Exercise: Think of just one item of food that you will consume at the end of 30 days.  The one item that you have been holding back on.  The one item that you will indulge yourself upon when this original cleanse is done.  Write it into the comment box and then just forget about it.  Put it away from your mind and make a note in your calender or Outlook to open this web page up when you reach your 30 day goal.  Then let's compare notes.  Any thougthts on what might actually happen?