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Difficulty Conceiving?: Causes of Infertility

keystoclaritycoach — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:58:49 +0000

To all my fellow journey'rs - I thought this article might be an interesting read for you....

curiously,

Coach Louise Crooks

Why Couples Find Difficulty Conceiving: Causes Of Infertility

Link to this blog post: http://femalereproduction.blogspot.com/2008/08/why-couples-find-difficulty-conceiving.html

The term infertility refers to the abnormal incapacity to produce children by natural means of conception. It also refers to the incapability of a woman to go through the entire course of pregnancy. Several couples throughout the world strive hard to conceive a child, however some find extreme difficulty in doing so and thus need medical assistance to be successful. Around percent of the people in the reproductive age are infertile according to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, a third of such cases affect females, another third affects males, and 15 percent affect both partners.

Technically, a couple is considered infertile if they are unable to conceive a child within six months of unprotected sexual intercourse (or 12 months if the woman is over 35 years old), according to the INCIID (International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination). There are many reasons this may happen. Such factors may affect either the male or the female, or both partners.

Causes of Male Infertility

There are several factors that could lead to male infertility. A common cause is the problem with sperm production. An infertile male may be producing very little sperm cells or very weak/immobile sperm cells. A man may also be affected by an underlying disease or medical condition such as endocrine problems, diabetes, Kallmann's syndrome, hypogonadism, hyperprolactinemia, drug and alcohol-related problems, that hinder the production of hormones necessary for sperm production.

Some men might have problems on their reproductive organs themselves. Among such conditions include Klinefelter's syndrome, testiscular trauma, mumps, Idiopathic failure, seminoma, varicocele, hydrocele, cryptorchidism, and the like. These conditions have direct effects on the testicles themselves, which are the organs responsible for sperm production.

Some men might be able to produce healthy and plentiful of sperm cells but have problems of releasing them for proper intercourse. They might have an obstruction in the vas deferens (the tube that connects the testicles to the penis), infection, retrograde ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and hypospadias. This prevents the successful transfer of sperm to the female reproductive system.

Causes of Female Infertility

As a counterpart to the causes of male infertility, females might have problems with the production of healthy egg cells. They might have problems in their ovaries such as polycystic ovary syndrome, luteal dysfunction, diminished ovarian reserve, Turner syndrome, anovulation, ovarian neoplasm and premature menopause, which hinder the healthy maturation and appropriate release of egg cells.

A woman may also be infected by other conditions that affect her reproductive health. Among such conditions include diabetes mellitus, adrenal disease, liver ailments, kidney malfunction, thyroid disorders, and psychological problems.

A woman may also have problems with certain glands that produce necessary hormones for reproductions. Among such diseases include Kallmann syndrome, hypothalamic dysfunction, hypopituaitarism, and hyperprolactinemia.

Some problems may also be affect the cervix, making it difficult for sperm to reach the egg cell. Such problems include anti-sperm antibodies, cervical stenosis, and insufficient secretion of mucus for the travel of sperm.

The uterus or the womb itself might not be conducive for carrying a child. There could be uterine malformations, leiomyoma or uterine fibroids, and Asherman's Syndrome.

Infertility is a difficult problem. Fortunately, the wonders of medical science has produced several treatments for both male and female infertility. To know more about them, one can simply consult a fertility clinic, a gynecologist or a urologist.

Is Hair the Covering?

Lacy Rebekah — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 16:30:23 +0000

I am trying to sift to the bottom of this issue, with my own study of 1 Corinthians 11, to answer others that may have questions about it. This is my own personal study of the covering, and I am not trying to decide for others, just posting my thoughts on it. :)

Most people believe that the covering mentioned in 1 Corinthians 11 was the hair and only the hair, because of verse 15 "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering."
(Emphasis mine)
While I believe the hair was given to the woman for her natural covering and glory, I also believe there is another, material covering. Notice where it says A covering. It doesn't specify the hair as the only covering!

For take note, reading verse 6 with the hair as the only covering:

For if the woman be not covered [with her hair... resulting in baldness], let her also be shorn [her bald head cut further]:
(Emphasis mine)

Now, let's read verse 6 with an additional covering and hair:
For if the woman be not covered [with a cloth covering], let her also be shorn [also]:
(Emphasis mine)

The first doesn't make sense, but the second makes complete sense.

To have an uncovered head, if hair were the only covering, you would have to remove your hair. Well, it's simply not possible to remove and put on your hair! And not only that, you can't have an uncovered head with no hair and be shorn with short hair at the same time, can you?

Also, if the hair were the covering, consider this: every Christian man's head would need to be bald for the rest of his life. Why? Because verse 7 says a man is not to cover his head! If hair were the only covering, a man would need to have no hair on his head.

For a man indeed ought not to cover his head [with hair], forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
(Emphasis mine)

Long hair is a woman's glory (verse 15) and that glory should be veiled when in the presence of God.
And now, if the hair isn't the one and only covering, Christian men now don't have to be bald!

"**Consider this possibility: when the righteous angels check out their ministry missions they see that it‟s okay to involve a woman in a spiritual event when they can see that she is in submission. But when the veil is missing they may anxiously look at God and say, “What do I do?” The message is a confusing one to them. Angels operate by signs. Remember the blood on the doorposts? Angels may have been ordered to look especially for veils! This may explain why women who wear one often have abundant witnessing opportunities, Angels may usher people to us because they can spot us!

Now, the woman has a glory (her hair) and she is a glory, the glory of the man. Out of deference for Christ, in the worship service, man‟s glory must be covered. Hence the reason for the godly woman to refrain from asserting her presence in the sacred assembly, by remaining silent during the service and by covering her most glorious feature, her hair. Watchmen Nee said, “It is through the sisters that God‟s governmental system is to be displayed.

Cover your glory out of a deep desire to have others see Christ‟s glory, alone.**"
[**Statements used from the article "The Biblical Headcovering: A Scarf of Hidden Power"]

Hair as the only covering:
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? [no hair.. bald]

Additional cloth covering:
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? [without additional cloth covering]

Ivanka, letnik 1958

jackie4grace — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 20:37:32 +0000

Popoldne sem z veseljem opazovala Ivanko, letnik 1958, pri okopavanju krompirja. Če bom sama kdaj imela kakšen kos zemlje, na kateri bom lahko okopavala neškropljen!!! krompir, se mi bo zdelo, da sem v življenju ogromno dosegla.

ambush — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 00:11:34 +0000

Artist: Chris Antemann - Lust and Gluttony

"Lust and Gluttony" via Art MoCo

Chris Antemann follows the tradition of creating figurative porcelain centrepieces with intimate mise-en-scènes that hint at relationships between the participants. Sometimes the tableaux verge on the naughty, but that might just be a matter of perception. Lust and Gluttony (detail above) is a large piece that portrays the Seven Deadly Sins seated around a festive table laden with sugary treats, doing what they do best. Polishing Silver does not look as dull a task as it is usually made out to be, and the Blue Ribbon is a coy three-layer bed scene. Other pieces in Antemann’s oeuvre include a teatime menage-à-trois, various sofa settings and good use of the chaise longue.
Artist: Chris Antemann
+ ferringallery.com

Majevske ženske v Chichen Itzi

jackie4grace — Sat, 24 May 2008 07:35:35 +0000

Few good pics on flickr.......

Ami Jha — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 13:52:44 +0000

Rambling through flickr, I saw some awesome pictures. under headings as delecate look,femine beauty,colorful day
http://www.flickr.com/photos/luismontemayor/sets/72157594237467763/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/luismontemayor/1572975941/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/proverbs31/1286780394/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/welltaken/1069296666/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neloqua/sets/72157594295989546/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neloqua/sets/666687/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neloqua/271084498/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neloqua/sets/393702/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/algo/sets/615241/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/algo/sets/393994/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pfong/80979024/

Above all this one ...http://www.flickr.com/photos/neloqua/

Where are all the Boys?

Taylor — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:50:37 +0000

Allow me to call to your attention to an article I recently read by Dr. Al Mohler. His article, Is Matriarchy the Shape of the Future?, continues to verify a disturbing trend I started noticing during the 1990's.

Over the past 10 to 15 years, men have been portrayed in the media and society as irresponsible overgrown children. While their counterparts, women, during the same time have been shown as hard working responsible leaders of families, communities, and businesses. I believed the results of such depictions would eventually have a detrimental effect on men.

Mohler's article describes a cultural shift which has already taken place. Female to male college enrollment and degrees earned demonstrates my growing concern for men. I am proud for the advancement women have made in society, college, business, and politics. But, I am also deeply concerned about our sons and young men whom seem to be getting left behind.

I cannot find one particular reason which is the cause of this disturbing trend. I do believe it is reasonable to say that while our young women have garnered much extra attention in education, career development, and public support and policy for social advancement, young men are being overlooked. I remember as a child hearing about girls not being as good in math and science. Now statistics are showing that young ladies are out performing young men in both of these subjects.

Is this because girls have suddenly become better math and science students than boys? No. But the girls have had special programs, advertising campaigns, and gender specific clubs developed to help them better develop these skills. Is this wrong? No. But, during the same time, were boys granted these same opportunities. No.

The argument was that boys already had an advantage just by the nature of our society. Society has now changed, and it hasn't taken generations to see the effects on our young men. Twenty years later and the numbers show a story that should concern everyone.

I would contend anytime one gender, race, or social class is given advantages and preferential treatment over another that our society is harmed. It is time we recognize that the future is today. We must save our sons and daughters. We cannot left up one without harming the other. Therefore, we must educate and give the same opportunities to both girls and boys.

How do we do this? Allow boys to be boys, and girls to be girls. Allow boys to have boy clubs without it being a sexist thing and allow girls to have girl clubs. Understand that men and women are different and stop trying to force women to be more like men and men to be more like women.

It seems to me I once heard something about celebrating our differences. This is what we must now learn to do with men and women. There is nothing wrong with differences. We have been created different, and somehow I believe those differences are meant to be a benefit to each other.

For the time being, a stronger emphasis needs to be placed on reminding men what it means to be a strong godly man. A real man is a family man, a responsible man, a leader, a protector, and a provider.

Please take time to read Al Mohler's article. It will open your eyes, and bring you to your knees for our sons and daughters.

God's peace and blessings to you,

Taylor

All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

Catching the attention of Girls(Blooper at the seminar)

VASU KANNA — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 15:28:25 +0000

One more universal attitude- boys dont just enjoy the girl solicitly rather they share the hotness of the girl whom they are watching without any slightest insecurity to the guy beside them,Just before i do that Nikhil smelled it.Anyways he waited till i said that and said that he wasnt interested may be he wanted to prove a point that he doesnt go for simple girls like her and his taste is better than mine.Never mind myself not the kind who worry much about anything, but Nikhil suddenly appeared like a LOVE GURU

Nikhils main criteria

GET NOTICED IN HER EYES

we(Mostly Nikhil) later worked out some innovative ways to get into her eyes.THis is what Nikhil adviced me

{CAUTION:Dont even try these in ur wildest dreams, u will be a damn looser}

1)Its simple dude. She must notice u.

So try collecting all plates from those who had their lunch and wash them urself and she will notice u.

2)Just run and spank the buttocks of a person who was constantly raising silly questions in the silliest topic being discussed in the first row

3)Jus run on to the stage take the mike form the orator and say mike testing 123 hello hello and come back

4)Just stand beside her while washing ur plate, wash it clearly cleanly and throw the plate in dust bin again.

My stupid ears are still listening those where i suddenly got the doubt and thought she will laugh at me .

Myself: dude she will laugh at me and think i am a nerd.

NIKHIL:Donn wory girls like Nerds and bad boys(one more stupid advice)

Myself:Realizing that he z fooling once again):Say me something which will work

Nikhil:Shez sleeping with her mouth open go and put the pen in her mouth and say wake up dear , she will notice u and will also say thanks for waking her up

Myself:Thanking me is only one of the reactions she may give but there are many things she can act upon if i do that

Jus chill dude i learnt that staring at a girl works sometimes

Nikhil:Ya thats one more option u have to do that and she will notice u(one more stupid idea which worked at last)

To understand the context read the below parts AT THE SEMINAR (PART 1,PART2)

Being Single is not a sin!!!!!!

VASU KANNA — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 14:57:22 +0000

If only being SINGLE is a fault whose mistake is it??????

To blame for all those guys who are still single is because of the girls who are not ready to mingle!!!!!How many of the girls around us could jus make a one single step ahead of the threshhold and say i will be with u, when they still know that theres alot in offering to them so explicitly???

To make it worse even the more explicit we boys are in starting a relationship the more conspicious the girls become in saying thats just friendship!!!!

The flip side rubbing the salt is the weak hearted guys who can alsways fall mentally sick of girls!(rarefication if girls feel that , and how rarely do they get rejected???, like a poor friend of mine gets rejected each time he talks to a girl)

With such wonderful life of their own gifted by god how could girls be so cruel in restraining themselves and also the boys in jus the name of one silly Synonym called friendship and isolating from relationship???

Ha Now come the bloopers each and every girl does and should stop soon.

Behaving as if they(she) arent aware that the boy whose been after her is jus looking a for a small silly deal of friendship!!! hey ofcourse icant be overly fanatic by sayin every friendship is a relationship but an advanceto relation can be distinguished simply . Its as simple as that.

Knowing that a guy was after him the girl should make it explicitly clear that she has or hasnt any feelings towards him bluntly ofcourse if not straightly .Its time for boys not to overreact for that sayin that i am not in LOVE dont act as if u are a LAS VEGAS beauty.We jus should admire her reality and the good virtue of her saying very much early before u turn into an addict.See if u could know it early guyz u could make the move to the next chic, see we guys arent so emotional right and shouldnt be , if not her its the other .

The compendium is simple girls should let know that they arent intereted to the guy whose falling behind her in the initial stage before he gets his mind stuck on u,if ever u act good and friendly stil knowin that the guy has something else in mind thats a greatest SIN, u are doing.Because the boys arent created for a cause to woo girls , and girls can enjoy that but not to the zenith.

Guys stop falling too much for girls and the leeser u get for emotional love in a girl the more u could be happy with her, but its difficult not all of us be as cruel as a ****** jus playing physical and we too have a heart to care for some but donnmake it too rigid on a single chick, and start a relationship anticipating to loose after all there are more guys competing for a single girl and havin the less restrained heart its lil difficult i know but girls surely enjoy this status having an edge in hiding everytjing perfectly!!!!!!!!!!

Dedicated to all my firends who are seriously looking for a relationship much more inspired after watching HAPPY DAYS movie and feel deprecated without a girl in their life as their fault

this is vasu Signing off, and writing this artilce inspired from the situations of Karthik and Vikas

Gitl Braun

veronicalynne — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 16:49:11 +0000

What an awsome concept.

What simplicity.

What beauty.

If you haven't seen the work of Gitl Braun yet, you really should check it out. She was highlighted on ephotozine earlier this summer.

'Amul Macho. Crafted for Fantasies’(or vulgarity)???

VASU KANNA — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 06:04:15 +0000

The woman opens up her bundle of clothes and pulls out the first garment – Amul Macho underwear belonging to her husband. She then starts brushing it, and through her expressions, it is clear that she fancies that the man is still wearing it. The women surrounding her are also taken in by her fantasy, so much so that when she raises a bat-like object (used to thrash the dirt out of clothes), the women actually wince at the thought of the ‘man’ being thrashed like that. The ad ends with the young woman stretching the underwear in her hands, while the super and voiceover conclude, ‘Amul Macho. Crafted for Fantasies’.

In a recent poll conducted by CNBC-TV18, 49 per cent of those who participated felt that the ad was enjoyable and not obscene, while the rest felt it was vulgar. “Around 5,000 people took part in that poll, so 49 per cent – virtually an equal amount of people ??????????

What do you feel?????????????Can we take this as enjoyable???????

what type of men do women feel cool!!!!!!

VASU KANNA — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 16:49:42 +0000

Let me tell you a few quick mini-stories about
guys I've known who were UN-cool.

One friend I used to have LOVED to argue with
people. He would start arguments about anything
and always take the opposite perspective on every
topic. He did this with women all the time too. I
think he felt like he was coming across as smart
when he argued. Guess what? Women hated it, and
ran as soon as he started in. His guy friends
hated it too. He was UN-cool because his
insecurity was so strong, that he had to argue to
get attention.

Another friend I have always tries to do nice
things and favors for women he likes. As soon as
he meets a woman he likes, he tries to find
something he can do for her. Of course, he then
gets upset when the woman doesn't return the
feelings of affection... and he acts upset and
"taken advantage of". This, of course, makes women
run away. As you can probably guess, he's trying
to manipulate women with favors. And women resent
him for it. Women don't think he's cool, and they
avoid him.

I know one guy who loves to tell women how
beautiful they are, buys them drinks and dinners,
and pursues them with the "You're the greatest
thing in the world and I'm going to chase you
around and try to buy your attention". And even
though he's doing a lot of "nice" things for the
women he's interested in, he can't keep one around
for more than a date or two. Even his guy friends
think that he needs to calm down and act more
"cool" in general.

Now, all three of the guys I've mentioned above
have different problems... but the way I see it,
they're all strangely related.

Here are a few more quick stories about guys I
know who are "cool".

One guy I know always has girls around him. In
fact, I don't think I've ever seen him WITHOUT at
least one girl with him. Usually he has three or
four girls with him... and sometimes up to 10 or
12. He always makes fun of the girls, teases them,
and treats them like good friends who he's
comfortable enough to bust on. He's not rich, he
doesn't buy things for women, and he doesn't kiss
up to them. He DOES, on the other hand, make it
his business to know where the "cool" places are
in town, where to go out, and who to call for the
"inside track" on where the hot spots are. Then he
shows up at the door to these hot spots with five
women. EVERYONE who knows him thinks of him as a
"cool" guy.

I have another friend that is really amazing
with women. But he does something that's rather
unusual when he's around women. He kind of IGNORES
them when he first meets them. If he's out with
friends, and one of them introduces a female
friend to him, he'll shake her hand and say "hi",
then TURN AWAY and go back to whatever he was
doing. Somehow, the women that are around him
always want to talk to HIM. And all the guys he
knows think of him as one of the coolest guys
around.

Finally, I have one friend who literally says
things to women like, "You probably wouldn't like
me. I don't really have relationships with women.
Our relationship will probably go no further than
the physical..." . He's
blunt, direct, and honest about whatever is on his
mind. He doesn't chase women, buy them things, or
smother them with compliments... and yet, they
love him. And he has a crew of guy friends who all
love him and think he's one of the "coolest" guys
in the world.

So what is it that separates the "cool" guys
from the "uncool" guys?

What is "cool"?

What is it that makes a few rare people the
kind of people that EVERYONE wants to be around?

What is it about UN-cool guys that repels other
people, and makes women run away?

And what is it about this element that I'm
calling "cool" that makes guys who have it attract
more women than they can handle?

Tips for keeping an Womens attention

VASU KANNA — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 15:30:02 +0000

prince luv tips!!!!!!

If you're dealing with an attractive woman,
then you must remember that you're not the first
guy who has ever been interested in her.

In fact, she's probably approached all the time
by guys, and she probably has a lot of experience
with guys who want to "get involved" with her.

This is one of those funny situations that
works in kind of a backwards way (not unlike many
other aspects of male/female relationships,
actually).

If you meet an attractive girl, you can be
pretty sure of a few things:

1) She gets approached by men, one way or another,
all the damn time.

2) 99% of the men that she meets and dates wind up
following her around like puppies... either from
the beginning or eventually.

3) When a guy acts "too nice - too soon", she sees
this as a sign of neediness and weakness, and
she's repelled by it.

I realize that this is going to sound like some
kind of bizarre Zen self-help B.S., but sometimes
you have to push things away from you gently in
order to bring them to you.

And beautiful women fall into this category.

At my last couple of Double Your Dating LIVE!
Seminars, I asked a simple question:

"How do you make someone want something?"

Have you ever thought about that concept?

Why is it that people WANT things in the first
place, and how can you actually MAKE someone want
something?

When you think about the things that YOU want,
and then ask yourself WHY you want those things,
you'll begin to realize why this is such a
profound question.

Why is it that Coke has dominated the cola
market when we all know that Pepsi wins the taste
tests?

Why is it that people in Los Angeles buy so
many four-wheel drive SUVs?

Why is it that some nightclubs keep people
outside in line for hours when there's plenty of
room inside the club?

Well, I obviously can't go into an in-depth
explanation of why these things are so, but I
think it's obvious that:

1) Most of the things that people "want" aren't
for the most logical reasons.

2) We humans only "want what we don't have"... and
once we get what we want, we quickly get bored.

3) Even knowing that something is readily
available to us makes us lose interest.

So why such a long explanation?

Why not just tell you when to call her, what to
say, and what tone to use?

Because even if you know the exact right words
to say, and the exact right time to say them, the
woman you're talking to will still be able to pick
up what you're REALLY thinking if you don't
understand how and why women become attracted to
men.

Here are a few ways to make a person want
something:

1) Create a challenge.

2) Give her a little, then lean back.

3) Give her the gift of missing you.

4) Be unpredictable.

When you create a challenge, you really ENGAGE
a woman's mind and emotions.

Women don't feel ATTRACTION for men that are
push-over Wuss Bags. Women feel ATTRACTION for men
who are a CHALLENGE.

When you give a woman a little bit, then lean
back, then you set up a "Hey, I want more of that"
situation.

If you just keep pouring on the attention and
giving her everything she wants, you'll become
uninteresting.

When you give a woman the "Gift of missing
you", you realize that for women, thinking about,
missing, and anticipating the next time is often
even more powerful than the actual EXPERIENCE of
"the next time".

Men often get insecure, and feel that they have
to call and keep an eye on a woman all the time.
This is a huge mistake. It says all the wrong
things.

When you're UNPREDICTABLE, you do something
that is almost MAGIC... when a man understands how
to make a woman feel ATTRACTION, then he doesn't
do things that are PREDICTABLE, women will tend to
think about him ALL THE TIME.

Things that are predictable don't require much
thought. They're uninteresting and boring.

Things that are UNPREDICTABLE, on the other
hand, require a LOT of thought. Unpredictable
things are FASCINATING to people... especially
women.

What makes a movie lame?

Predictability.

What makes a movie great?

A well-written story that ISN'T predictable.

Predictability and BORING-NESS are the enemies
of ATTRACTION.

Here are a few thoughts on the questions you
asked:

1) If you call her the next day, be cool about it.
Don't try to be too "suave", and don't try to set
up another date immediately. Call and say, "Hey,
what's up?" Make a little small talk, then hang
up. Lean back, and she'll be thinking about you
for the next several days (if you didn't act like
a dumb-ass the night before, that is).

2) If you email, keep it light as well. In this
day and age, I find it natural to email or call.

3) Your TONE should be cool, calm, laid back,
busy, and upbeat. Never complain about things,
whine, or act like you're in a bad mood and need
attention.

4) Be very cool about this. Don't act like you
might want to get married within 90 days, or like
you've met the woman of your dreams. Give her some
space, and the gift of missing you.

5) For the first 10 dates or so, don't see her
more than once or twice a week. Stay busy with
your life, and always have things going on.

6) Until you decide that you really like a
particular woman and want to "settle down" with
her, or have a long-term relationship, don't focus
too much energy on the relationship. If you're
dating other women, don't stop. When you focus all
of your energy and time on a woman that you've
just met, it often creeps them out and makes them
run.

Very Very funny quotes to be on yout T-shirt

VASU KANNA — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 16:04:35 +0000

I know some of the may appear little vulgar to some persons, but just chill its time for all others

Funny T-shirt quotes for girls and boyz!!!!!!

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?

I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.

Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

I hate everybody, and you're next.

Please don't make me kill you.

And your point is...?

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.

You KNOW you want me.

Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...

Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.

Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?

I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.

You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?

Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear.

I'm out of estrogen and I have a gun

(1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

(2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

(3) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

(4) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

(5) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research.

(6) I'm not a complete idiot--some parts are missing.

(7) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

(8) NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

(9) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

(10) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

(11) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

(12) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

(13) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

(14) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team.

(15) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on Cape Cod)

(16) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

(17) Procrastinate Now

(18) Rehab Is for Quitters

(19) My Dog Can Lick Anyone