A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed—without remedy.

When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice; when the wicked rule, the people groan.

A man who loves wisdom brings joy to his father, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.

By justice a king gives a country stability, but one who is greedy for bribes tears it down.

Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet.

An evil man is snared by his own sin, but a righteous one can sing and be glad.

The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger.

If a wise man goes to court with a fool, the fool rages and scoffs, and there is no peace.

Bloodthirsty men hate a man of integrity and seek to kill the upright.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

If a ruler listens to lies, all his officials become wicked.

The poor man and the oppressor have this in common: The LORD gives sight to the eyes of both.

If a king judges the poor with fairness, his throne will always be secure.

The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

When the wicked thrive, so does sin, but the righteous will see their downfall.

Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law.

A servant cannot be corrected by mere words; though he understands, he will not respond.

Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

If a man pampers his servant from youth, he will bring grief in the end.

An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.

A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.

The accomplice of a thief is his own enemy; he is put under oath and dare not testify.

Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

Many seek an audience with a ruler, but it is from the LORD that man gets justice.

The righteous detest the dishonest; the wicked detest the upright.

Law 1: The Law of the Lid.

Summary:

There are certain lids on everyone's potential of leadership that must be removed if greater effectiveness is to be achieved.

Thoughts:

-Leadership ability determines a person's level of effectiveness

-The greater the impact you want to make, the greater your influence needs to be

-Leadership has a multiplying effect. The greater the leadership, the greater the potential for impact

-To reach the highest level of effectiveness, you have to raise the lid(s)

Take-Aways:

What are my lids? 1. Organization: I need better personal and organizational systems and work flows (written down!), priority list (Druckard), and not-to-do list. 2. Focus/Distractions: Similar to above. I need priority list, written schedule's and accountability to follow through. 3. Attitude and Emotions: I am growing in my ability to control how I react to situations. To help in this the needs are, prayer, memorizing scripture, and time off. 4. Experience/Knowledge: Hopefully I'll never think "i've arrived" and will always have a hunger to learn. Raising this lid will require reading, studying, spending time with other leaders, prayer and time in the Word.

Law 2: The Law of the Influence.

Summary:

Leadership is influence--nothing more

Thoughts:

-Titles don't have much value when it comes to leading

-Just because you started something, or have a lot of knowledge, or have a position, does not make  you the leader.

-Influence gives you leverage-which is leadership

-Volunteers can not be forced into anything, they have to be influenced. This is leadership in it purest.

Take-Aways:

How can I gain more influence?

-Believing more in people and their abilities

-Empowering them, giving them responsibility

-Living by example and having a moral authority

-Always be learning and growing

-Pull for Clemson

MPI has released the report which shows the world economy’s status and forecasts macroeconomic targets for 2009. The report was made after the compilers considered the socio-economic situation as of August.

7% GDP growth rate in 2008 may be unachievable

The National Assembly in June 2008 decided to lower the targeted economic growth rate from 8.5-9% set late last year to the more modest level of 7%. However, the report said, the 7% GDP growth rate is still a difficult goal.

In the optimistic scenario, Vietnam’s industrial production will regain its development from now to the end of the year, while the world economy’s performance will create more favourable conditions for Vietnam’s exports. If so, the GDP economic growth rate will be 6.6-6.8%.

In order to make the scenario happen, inflation has to go down sharply in the last months of the year to stay at 29-30.5% for the whole year. 

In the more pessimistic scenario, the GDP growth rate will be 6.2-6.5% only, as industrial production will decrease in the upcoming months due to lack of capital, higher input material prices, electricity shortage and the world’s oil market volatility. Meanwhile, the volume of cash in circulation increases dramatically as a result of the strong inflow of foreign direct investment and overseas remittance, thus putting pressure on inflation. In such disadvantageous conditions, the inflation rates in the upcoming months could reach 1.7-2.2%, pushing the inflation rate for the whole of 2008 to 31.5-33%.

Inflation rate will go down sharply in 2009

MPI’s group of experts gave two scenarios for economic growth in 2009 with different forecast figures, depending on the happenings in the last months of 2008.

In the first scenario, if inflation can be restrained at acceptable levels, the investment capital of society increases, the world’s crude oil price stays at $110-130/barrel, the steel price decreases a little, the national economy will retain stable growth. The indices will be as follows: GDP will increase by 7-7.5%, the inflation rate will increase by 13-15%, while the trade deficit will be curbed at $22.7bil. The total investments of society in 2009 will be higher than in 2008, equivalent to 41.06% of GDP, while the budget deficit will be 5.11% of GDP.

The second scenario gives more cautious forecasts in the event inflation cannot be curbed as successfully as hoped. Meanwhile, production may face difficulties due to the capital shortage and high interest rates. In this case, the government will continue cutting public investments and fighting to reduce the trade deficit.

In these conditions, the GDP growth rate will be 6-6.5% only in 2009, the inflation rate will be between 10% and 12%, while the trade deficit will be less than $20bil. The total investments of society will be at the same level as in 2008, while the budget deficit will be less than 4.8% of GDP.

(Source: PL TP HCM)

Included is the statistic that social networking use grew 25% year over year worldwide, with notable increases in Europe and the Middle East.

Tuesday, my mom and I took the twins to the doctor for their two month checkup.  They're so big now!  Addie was 5lb 12oz at birth and now weighs in at 11lb 2oz.  Kade has grown from 6lb 5oz to 12lb 1oz.  I'm so proud of my little chunky breastfed babies and truthfully, a little proud of myself, too. 

When I was pregnant, I wasn't sure I'd be able to nurse two babies; in fact, I was nervous and downright skeptical.  I figured I'd give it a try, but decided that if I couldn't do it, I'd have no guilt about switching to formula.  I had a hard time learning to breastfeed Logan and it was several months before I really got the hang of it.  I never really got comfortable nursing in public and really didn't even like to do it in front of anyone.  This time around, I'm much more at ease and not so worried about what others think.  Addie and Kade are great nursers and have been from the start.  Not to say that we haven't had to suppliment every now and again, but for the most part, they've just been getting my milk and now that they're growing so well, it's a marker that we're a pretty accomplished group - Addie, Kade and me.

In a nutshell, Reich argues that the golden age of capitalism -- the rebuilding of the post-war years up to the 1970s -- delivered enough prosperity to win the allegiance of most ordinary folk. That got replaced by 'supercapitalism' which has delivered our present mess.

For Brittan the novelty in Reich's book lies in his rejection of a central role for corporate social responsibility. Instead, Reich gets into the intellectual bed of Milton Friedman -- who famously argued that it's the job of businessmen to make lots of dosh, and that's their sole responsibility. For Reich we need to strengthen states to ensure that dosh-making is compatible with society's goals -- as set out by democracy.

Brittan likes this (unexpected) approach. But he's less optimistic about democracy pushing business in the right direction. US energy policy is Brittan's example (presumably excessive subsidies for biofuels driving up world food prices). And Brittan cautions that this might also let business off its (moral) hook:

"... there is a danger that the Friedman-Reich position could inadvertently give sustenance to the “I was only doing my job” defence for evil actions".

We continue to think this one over while awaiting our copy of Reich's book. In the meantime, you can read his excellent blog here.

(Jewelweed soaking in the sun. August 2008. © Robin)

The earth has received the embrace of the sun and we shall see the results of that love.

~ Hunkesni (Sitting Bull)

One reason that I am a supporter of Barack Obama is because he shows that race is not an issue for him. He shows that he cares about the people all the people; red, yellow, black and white we are all precious in his site! 

With that said, now is the time to look beyond color but look at who really is the best canidate to be President of the United States of America? Who is sincere when it comes to the concerns of the people? Who has the best interest of America in their heart and willing to put it into action? Who wants positive Change for the USA? My heart, mind and soul tells me

and a world leader in the type of deep water oil extraction needed in this instance, would no doubt like a swift resolution of this proposal. With Petrobras's board chaired by Dilma Rousseff, widely tipped as Lula successor,  local elections looming this issue is looks set to continue to divide opinion for some time. Meanwhile  analysts report a slowdown coming next year,  as reported in today's FT :

It reminds me of Europe earlier this year. Everyone thought they could escape [contagion from the US subprime crisis]. Then suddenly it became clear they couldn’t.”

Is now the time for indecision to be affecting the county's leading corporation, pulling down the Bovespa and worrying investors? Or is it time for oil and welfare to come together in light of difficulties that lie ahead?

Almir Barbassa, CFO of Petrobras, talking on Bloomberg about oil price and future supply and stock price  after their last earnings report (12/08)

I didn't realize we did so many Hillsong United songs. I actually had never heard of them (and constantly skip there stuff unless it's certain songs) until i heard Mighty to Save. I LOVE that song, and  a select few others, i'll admit though, i like Aric's versions better. Same song, Different energy.

***Side note here on Aric Harding- I've never actually met him, but he brings this reaction out of me a lot.... Fathers day sunday, this last sunday, it's always an emotional thing when the things he says are pulling at something going on with me. We generally sit in the first 3 rows somewhere and in the middle section, and  I'm sure he's seen me on numerous occasions, i just wish i had the nerve to thank him...***

So I'm in love with Hillsong United--the Aric Harding way. And David Crowder too, only i actually love other stuff from him than just what we sing at church. I'm glad i found something besides Robbie Seay that i LOVE.  Robbie Seay is what i listen to when i'm down and out (song of hope=AMAZING!).

SO that's my little piece on praise music, now on to the WONDERFUL people i've been blessed with spending a lot of time with in recent weeks. I spend majority of the summer with the most amazing people ever, and now that school is starting we're slightly seperated, but i truly believe that no matter what those people LOVE eachother whole heartedly, and if we ever need anything we could call upon each other.

Back to school means new friendships and distance from old ones, new opportunities and old doors closing, it's a time for growth and evolution. I'll never forget this summer and all the randomness, the late night movies, the secret spot, dinners, Mao, Munchkin and about a thousand trips to go get snow cones. I'm praying like crazy that we don't get TOO distant that we couldn't come together if one of us was in need, or hurting. I LOVE those people like they're my brothers and sisters (which in Christ they are) but not by  blood.

This new season brings change for all of us. The prayer lady might be distracted but she's still here=)

New population figures, released yesterday by Deputy Premier and Infrastructure Minister Paul Lucas, indicated the Coast’s growth had slowed to 2.1% a year.

Mr Lucas said that rate was expected to continue until 2031.

For the 10 years to June 2006, the Coast’s population increased by 3.4% a year.

Mr Abbot, speaking on his way back from Canberra after infrastructure funding talks, said he was happy about the figures.

“That’s fabulous,” he said.

“It will give us a little more time to get the infrastructure the Coast needs in place.”

Growth in the rest of the state is expected to be much slower, at 1.7%, which is about half the average rate of growth during the five years to June 2006.

Sunshine Coast Environment Council spokeswoman Narelle McCarthy warned, however, that the growth rate could be higher because the government was using “medium” growth predictions. The rate of growth could be as high as 2.6%, she said.

When our heart's desires are fulfilled, we sense satisfaction or tranquillity ~ a state of peace and calm.

When our heart's desires are neglected ~ emptiness and unhappiness are likely to reside within us, no matter how succesful we might appear to be.

Each of us are expectantly the ones who understand the food that feeds our soul. Unfortunately, many of us, for different reasons, are disconnected with our inner-self and put great efforts in compromising and pleasing others who claim to know about what are best for us.

If you feel emptiness ... ongoing loneliness ... voids deep inside your heart .. then this is your wake-up call. Listen to what your inner-voice has to say: You deserve to be happy ~ with the source of happiness defined by you! So ... go for it!

True happiness is the inner joy which nothing outside can destroy ~

I'm 28 and I've finally figured out what I want to do. I made the decision to leave my full-time job and career path to return to school for another master's degree so I can one day be a therapist. I already have considerable school debt, but I'm willing to take the risk because I know it's what I want to do. (I understand that there's a certain amount of privilege implicit in being able to make this decision- i.e.- I don't have a family to take care of, so I acknowledge that) I've decided to redefine myself- this blogging project is even a part of the process. This decision will also mean redefining what prosperity means to me. I am going to be VERY poor for the next two years...and probably for a few years after I graduate as well. I have no idea how I'm going to repay my debt, but I would rather have no idea about that and be on a path that makes me happy, than sit in a job that bores me for health insurance and a 401k. So, I'm choosing inner prosperity over outer prosperity. I am confident that I can live sparingly and be quite happy. (Btw- my astrologist said I'm going to end up successful- let's hope she's right...for my sake and Sallie Mae's)

Another issue these life changes have brought up for me is the importance of having people in my life who allow me to redefine myself. I think too often we typecast one another- you're my cynical friend, you're my friend who hates your job even more than I hate mine, etc. We feel a sense of comfort when we're able (or think we're able) to define people. I've been making an effort to not do that myself and to recognize when people are doing it to me. If someone makes a judgement or generalization about "me", as some static entity, that's not allowing for the ME that's always growing and changing. Are these people I need in my life? And at the same time, someone who I feel this about today, may not be the same person tomorrow and I'm aware of that and willing to take it into account. I believe in people's ability to change...maybe why I want to be a therapist.

So , I just wanted to pass along the great advice I received last night. Re-evaluate, redefine and be courageous. Despite being broke, my life feels more full than it has in quite some time. I'm taking 5 classes, have a couple of new writing projects going, am starting a yoga practice and deepening my meditation and dharma study. I would, of course, love to add a relationship to the mix, but I' confident that will come. For now, I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow.

the wind is my chauffeur

taking me where it would will

separated no longer still

movement

seemingly uncontrolled

It is a basic American right but we misread it with alarming regularity.  We translate "pursuit" as "sit on the couch and wait for it to be advertised."

I was raised by great parents, don't get me wrong, but ambition and go-getting were never part of my lesson plan.  My parents were amazing when it came to including me in projects that they themselves were working on.  My Mom let me stick pins into her tomato pin cushion as she took them out of the pant leg she was hemming.  My Dad always made sure I was on hand to fetch a tool for him, and I prided myself on knowing what a vice grips was.

But if I wanted to take on something by myself... forget it.  Key phrases I distinctly remember as responses to my project ideas: Mom: "Maybe someday..."or "Well, I don't think so."  My Dad was a veritable font of encouragement, greeting my attempts at pretty much anything, from laundry to baking, with: "Does your mother know you're doing this?" and, my favorite, "You're just going to screw that up."

So I used this upbringing as my excuse for being a passive slouch in my 20's.  That's what the 20's are for, really, blaming your screwed up life on your parents and popping open another cold one to replace the baby bottle you wish you were still sucking on.

Then, with any luck, you turn 30.  Or maybe you have kids.  Either way, you realize it's time to grow up.  You realize that, considering the messed up state of government, traffic and the universe, your parents didn't do half bad.  It finally dawns on you that, hey, what you do every minute of every day has as great an impact on the world as what they did.  You realize that someday, someone is liable to blame everything, from the president's idiocy to the drought to their own bruised self-esteem, on yours truly.

Time to make it count.

Lately, being a stay at home mom and thusly contributing precisely jack to our family's economy, I have been wishing that I could work outside the 9 to 5 box, get a few off-the-beaten-path gigs going, like say a couple of tutoring clients or a translation assignment, maybe a freelance essay published, just a few things that will allow me to continue the priceless work I do taking care of my family and home while covering a couple of bills.

I've been hiding in the shadows with my list of ideas, feeling shy and unconfident.  And suddenly ridiculous.  These jobs ain't gonna drag themselves out of the woodwork.  

What else is this life for but shooting for the moon?  What else does being a grown-up mean but taking the full blame and credit for how I spend my life energy, which is the only currency we truly have with which to purchase satisfaction?

Who am I if I am not pushing my boundaries, trying to grow out of those unhelpful characteristics which I developed, for whatever reason that now no longer matters, when I was just a pup?  I will never know who I am and what I can do if I don't move forward, fueled by the visions, however improbable, that infuse me with enthusiasm when I chance to glance their way.

A secret: happiness IS the pursuit.  

Getting there, if we ever do, would just be icing.

Lord Longford: Thank you very much.

Talk Show Host: So many questions to ask you, such a long and *distinguished* career. But I'm gonna start with the book. What prompted you to write it?

Lord Longford: As a lifelong Christian and scholar, I've always been interested in ideas of sanctity. But more than that, I think it was probably the entirely selfish desire to spend a little time with my heroes.

Talk Show Host: Your "heroes"?

Lord Longford: Yes, that's what the saints are - my heroes, friends, intercessors.

Talk Show Host: [not really interested] *Interesting!* Right, the time has just gone 2:15, the subject is saints, we're gonna take some calls. David, you're through to Lord Longford. What's your question about...”the saints"?

Male Caller: [angry] Actually my question isn't about the saints. I just want to know how your *esteemed* guest can look himself in the mirror each morning?

Talk Show Host: I'm assuming this is a question about Myra Hindley?

Male Caller: Yes it is! How could you rub salt in the wounds of the families like that? A man in your position, fraternizing and campaigning on behalf of that monster!

Lord Longford: [polite, but brisk] Well, I certainly take exception to that description; but I made it quite clear before coming on the program, that I wouldn't be talking about Myra Hindley today.

Talk Show Host: Of course. Next caller is Judy, who's in Sheppey. You're through to Lord Longford.

Female Caller: [angry] My call is also about Miss Hindley. In view of *everything* we now know about it, don't you *regret* having supported her all that time?

Lord Longford: [getting flustered] Once again, madam, I'm afraid I must decline to answer questions about her.

Female Caller: It's a simple answer, Lord Longford - yes or no? Do you *regret* it?

Lord Longford: Not at all. As a matter of fact, I consider my visiting Myra Hindley, and indeed, all the other prisoners I've visited for over fifty years, to be one of the great blessings of my life. Now, perhaps, we could get back to the subject of saints.

Talk Show Host: But hasn't she destroyed you? She's... she's ruined your good name; she's taken all the hard work you did and thrown it back in your face.

Lord Longford: [struggling to bare his soul in public] Umm... yes... perhaps there's some truth in that. Forgiving her has proven difficult, very difficult. Not for what's she's done to me, that's neither here nor there; but for the terrible crimes themselves. Forgiveness is the very cornerstone of my faith. And the struggle to deepen my faith is my life's journey. In that respect she has enriched my spiritual life beyond measure, and for that, I will always be grateful to her.
[trembling slightly]
Lord Longford: If people think that makes me weak... or mad... so be it. That is the path I am committed to. To love the sinner, but hate the sins. To assume the best in people, and not the worst. To believe that anyone, no matter how evil, can be redeemed... eventually.

Talk Show Host: [barely paying attention] Right, the time is coming up to 2:20. Lord Longford is with us for the next couple of hours. And the switchboard looks like it's about to explode! Next caller, Lionel in Sevenoaks.

Movie : Longford

A deputy governor of the Bank of Canada says the central bank may have been too optimistic about Canada's second-quarter economic growth.

In mid-July, the bank projected an annualized growth rate of 0.8 per cent for the April-June quarter, an improvement over the previous three months, when the economy shrank at a 0.3 per cent rate.

Federal statisticians are still working on the second-quarter tally, but deputy governor David Longworth said Tuesday that several of the bank's July estimates missed the mark.

U.S. second-quarter growth was somewhat stronger than expected, while growth in the Japan and Europe was somewhat weaker, Longworth said in the text of a speech prepared for an audience of business economists in Kingston, Ont.

"Recent data also suggest that Canadian GDP [gross domestic product] growth in the second quarter was likely somewhat weaker than expected," he said.

Longworth, who has degrees in economics and mathematical statistics, did not try to guess the actual figure.

Were the second quarter to fall into negative territory, it would suggest that Canada is in a recession, a state often defined as two or more consecutive quarters of economic decline.

The deputy governor had some cheerier thoughts, however. So far, he said, Canada has come through a period of credit-market turmoil, energy-price spikes and U.S. economic troubles with its banks looking comparatively healthy.

He offered two conclusions:

"First, the financial system is sound, and the Canadian financial, non-financial, and household sectors are strong enough to deal with the problems we have seen in financial markets.

"Second, we can all do better.

"Over the course of this turbulent year, financial firms and individuals have learned to do better ? to better understand and manage the risks that come with investing and the use of credit. This is a welcome outcome. The past year has been a learning experience for all of us, including central banks and other policy-makers."

Scotiabank buys E*Trade Canada
Inflation’s rapid climb rattles economy
European Central Bank raises rate to fight inflation

The Olympics display some of the best amateur and professional athletes from around the world competing against each other. Most of these athletes are under the age of 26. Each of these athletes has worked hard to get to where they are today and have, at one point or another, been touted by observers and peers as a rising star. They had potential. They turned it into kinetic.

As I grow older, I feel more and more like I've failed. Watching the Olympics on television, I know that in some aspects, I have failed. I've never really been considered a rising star at anything I did and now, at the age of 26, there really isn't much left that I could be considered a rising star for. If I was to be a star at anything I did, it would have to be now or the moment has already passed me by... a fleeting moment where someone may have thought that the ceiling was high for myself and that I'd be among the best.

Maybe there was once a time that I was touted as a rising star in academics but that day passed a long time ago. Engineering, academically-speaking, was a failure and my university was prepared to give up on me repeatedly. Only through perseverance did I manage to make it out of that crushing environment.

I was never physically gifted enough to be considered a rising star at the sports I played but I work hard and push myself to try to be more than I am. Alas, I'm now at an age where most start to decline unless they put in even more effort to improve. I have to make big, and perhaps even humongous, strides to be at a star's level now and that's rather unlikely.

With academics and athletics now out of the picture, I can only hope that my "rising star" status will come through my career. It's all that I have left now for which I'm still young enough to establish myself at. I strive to improve as a person and as a Muslim each day but those are universal tenets of my faith that are absolute minimums to begin with.

I wish to be a rising star again...

the word "communication" doesn't settle well with me.

maybe it's that i "communicate" with lots of people, but feel so alone during these summer months. i'm practically a castaway here in anaheim, where lots of once-familiar people and places have made their homes in my past.

maybe it's that i "communicate" with most people via text, via facebook. facebook's great and all, but doesn't it just suck the life out of friends with funny giggles, unique facial expressions, and resonant voices? no matter how often I chat with friends online, i always end up watching their life play out in pictures from afar, from "tagged" photos, from profile pics. texting and facebook are intended to make "communication" more efficient, but i can't help feeling like they're doing me a disservice, trading real laughs over phone lines with a colon & parenthesis on a screen.

or maybe it's that i've always been horribly awkward with "communication" in the initial stage of getting to know someone. what do we talk about? when do we establish good enough inside jokes? when do we label ourselves as "friends" or "a couple" or even "best friends?" i say, let's just cut the crap and talk about something real, talk about what makes us tick, what makes us incredibly happy, what makes us. because how often do we actually have those kinds of conversations?

to be honest, all the truly valuable relationships in my life don't involve that word. they involve something much deeper, called "growth." communication doesn't need growth to function properly; all it needs is a medium: an instant message, an iphone, an email. but growth, growth requires a whole array of ingredients like honesty, vulnerability, face-to-face & eye-to-eye contact.

so to all my friends who I have a real relationship with, who I've opened to on long car rides and who have opened up to me over long-distance phone signals, i am so blessed to have you in my life.

and to those friends I lack a true bond with, let's make plans.

: )
Chappie

You'd think a woman who makes a living giving a talk entitled:  "Howe to Get Off The Sugar Rollercoaster" would know better, but this last week has been a sugar extravaganza, and I'm paying for it.  Too much sugar makes me listless, despondent and downright weepy.  The good news is I do indeed know how to get off the rollercoaster, the double good news is that I have again driven home my conviction that sugar can be really bad news for me.  The sad news is I'm not quite done yet.

The week started last Saturday with the ice cream, the cupcake, the Apple Tartlette, I told you all about those.  My plan was to avoid sugar throughout the week, so I could really indulge and truly savor the Butterscotch Bread Pudding at Eat Bar with my friend later tonight at our "Quarterly Decadent Dinner" together.  It was going well, too, until Tuesday when my friend showed up with homemade Chocolate Chip and Pecan cookies.  I do try to leave room in my plans for homemade cookies.  I enjoyed one, it was tasty, but it did come with a smidgen of guilt since it was 8pm and I was supposed to be saving myself for tonight.  Thursday was my downfall - I was helping a friend give her version of the "Sugar" talk (ah, more irony). I was in charge of cutting the Bean Brownies she was sampling out.  The recipe comes from a fabulous fellow blogger and is a version of a recipe I use (check it out:   http://alteredplates.blogspot.com/2008/08/moore-beany-brownies.html ).  Well, the brownies were coming out crooked so I had to eat the little edges to straighten them out.  Then after the talk there were leftovers, which I had to eat or else they'd just go to waste.  I was flyin' pretty high that afternoon, complete with jitters, darting eyes, and the late day energy crash and burn.  It was not pretty. 

I had a volunteer event that night, and there were cookies there.  They weren't homemade, they didn't even look good, but with the famous last words of every addict, I muttered "Ah, F-it." and scarfed one down. 

Stop the madness.  I'm still on board to have the Butterscotch Bread Pudding tonight (c'mon, wouldn't you?), but here's how I will get off the sugar rollercoaster, since I've stumbled upon it.  I'll drink a lot of water.  I'll eat a lot of greens, root vegetables and meats - they're grounding and will counteract the high speed spin of the sugar.  I'll steer clear of making big decisions and of being in high stress situations for a day or so.  I'll shake off guilt and shame and chalk it up to experience - I'll be grateful to better understand my limits.  Whoo eee.  What a ride.