Ada yang melihat ujian itu suatu musibah.. suatu benda yang teruk yg perlu dilalui oleh manusia yang bernasib malang..

Ada yang tak sanggup melalui ujian.. yg hanya nak kesenangan dan tak nak diuji..

Adapun orang yang meraih banyak kenikmatan di dunia, berasa selesa dan banyak harta, tapi lupa atau jahil yg sebenarnya kesenangan di dunia pun adalah satu bentuk ujian.

Tapi tahukah ujian itu datang dari Allah SWT kepada hambaNya utk menguji keimanannya?

Macam mana Allah SWT nak tapis orang yang nak masuk syurga tanpa ujian2 di dunia?

"Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said,"When is the help of Allah ?" Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near." (al-Baqarah:214)

Reminding myself just in case I forget.

So, why did Paul go back there? I don’t think it was the nice weather. He may have had some friends but he certainly had more enemies there. It wasn’t on the way to anywhere. I think he went back there to face his pain and his fear. It is human nature to avoid painful places and people. Paul was showing us how to confront the painful places in our lives.

Whenever the enemy hurts us, his goal is always to get us to quit. If he can’t get us to quit, he will settle for hurting us so badly that we will not walk in the fullness of God’s plan. He tries to create places in our lives that we are afraid to even think about. Paul refused to live in that kind of bondage. He confronted the very place of his greatest pain. We must be a people who will not back down. We must go forward and deal with the painful places. We might even need to go back and vacation there until the fear is gone.

Oh, another thing stands out about this. It is in Lystra that Paul find Timothy who become his protégé and friend for many years to come. Many times it is in the painful places of our life that we find the greatest blessing. GOD loves to build on our scars. When we confront our pain and let God heal us, HE just loves to use those scars as a foundation for blessing and future ministry. We will miss out on all of that if we run away and avoid our pain.

Everyone has a problem heart . . . until Jesus makes it new.

The thing was, I knew who I loved.
I knew who I wanted to spend my life with.
All I've been wishing for is to hear those words in return.
That's probably why it was hard to choose.
To be honest, the decision was easy, but I froze when asked.
On one hand there was the so-good-to-me, never-go-wrong first love.
And on the other was the confusion.
The best friend from so long ago; what I wanted once.
The "what if".

I didn't answer because somewhere inside me I was curious.
If I had said no, that rejection could alter how much he'd tell me.
I wanted to know how much he thought about me.
I needed to know if he actually wanted me.
But mostly, I had to know if he still cared about me.

It's all over now I guess.
The only thing lingering is the difficulty of forgetting it all.
Only him and I know how it turned out.
At times I feel like confessing it all.
Or maybe that's because I'm scared he will first.

Though, what I could have lost is far greater than what I would gain.
But seeing as it did not happen; I guess we'll never know.
... And I'm alright with that.
I love what I've got.

Goodbye Sunshine.
<3 A.

I stumbled on this quote while stalking on my friend's myspace account.
(I want to keep my latest log in as long ago as possible):

Sooner or later in life you realise:
who matters now, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will.
So don't worry about the people from your past,
there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

And it hit me. Dude. I guess I should get over it.
Let me go to the start of this. Well, sorta.
I'm too scared to post the whole story because no one knows the truth.
Let's say I did something "bad".
I looked at - now.
And thought, 'hey, that person from - past - isn't in the scene.
Let's go and ruin how great life is and try to bring them back.'

I have a tendency to ruin things that are good.
The only thing that came out of all of it was me getting hurt.
I'm an idiot.
It hurt so much. He hurt me so much.
I shouldn't of done it.

After hours of regret, I guess I learned a huge lesson.
The power of now. No joke.
'Get over it. You lost.'
That's what I'm saying to myself.
Reality has it's good points :D

Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

~ Ida Scott Taylor

Sorry for a depressing first post.
Goodbye Sunshine.
<3 A.

"the good old days,"

when peace abounded,

and love was in every air.

Stories go a-telling,

"of the way things were,"

in the days of our fathers,

mere farmers they were.

Three meals a day for their eating,

there was enough even for a second wife,

a house full of children,

as the proud father goes for meat a-hunting.

But it's sad.... Gone are those days,

when each house was everybody's house,

when all doors were always ajar,

when a passage from yours leads into mine.

when the children played whenever, wherever.

Never fearing to return home no more.

Gone are the days -

the market was full of goods and not robbers,

come buy what you want,

lifts his tray and counts his pay,

every penny complete, he goes whistling home,

Gone are those days.

Years have gone by, is there still love in the air?

We have "developed," lions are now everywhere,

so many things have now changed,

but not for the better.....

They say: don't go out alone,

where's your physical...

where's your spiritual bodyguard?

419 is now the norm

Corruption here, corruption there,

before it was under,

now its now right 'over-the-table.'

Policeman's synonym equals bribe,

do me I do you is the rule of the day,

'Simple courtesy' is now defined as Zero.

I've been on the queue for 2-days now,

do you still have fuel, can I please buy

do you want to beg or to buy?

Oh, but we have the mobile phone,

its beautiful, with many different tones,

now, I can tell a lie right to the bone.

"Hello, I am where I'm not."

Did you see my ride? damn,

Tokunbo deluxe is the name,

condemned by Oyinbo over there,

has become the original over here.

NEPA changed its problem's name to PHCN,

water, water - it's now mairuwa,

basic amenities, absent,

in the FCT where all our fathers taxes went.

So here I sit, writing with my pen,

heated and heating in and out,

but cooled by those wonderful echoes reflecting,

of the good ol' ol' days!!!

author: Tokunbo Ajewole, May 10th, 2003

*Nor did I grow up in the Child Hood.

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Timothy 2:3)

What does it mean to be a “good soldier”? Does it mean we follow the orders given us, trusting those over us who know more than we do about the battle we face? Does it mean we respect rank, knowing that those who are in charge have earned the right to be in the position they are in? Perhaps it is being brave when everyone else is running for cover, showing what courage is in the face of overwhelming odds? Maybe it is going back and rescuing those that have fallen on the battle field with little or no concern for ourselves? Then it could mean being delighted to be allowed to wear the uniform with pride and serving under the banner of a kingdom that never ends? Perhaps it is doing more than is expected of you?

All of these fit well with being a soldier of Christ. Enduring hardship like those who have gone on before us is not often found in today’s church. Recently I was struck with joy at the willingness of a young lady who has given her life to serve in Canada as a missionary. Canada is extremely unchurched with less than 10% of its population that is evangelical Christian. She is a “good soldier of Christ Jesus,” but what about those of us who are called to serve right where we are? To serve our Commander in the local church we are to be a member of? Tithing, serving, giving ourselves each day to the work He has called us to do in our communities? It is easy to give to missions, pray for ministries, or sit and be inspired by praise music and great sermonizing, but each believer is called to be a “good soldier of Christ Jesus” right where they are. Are you? Are you truly a good soldier of the Lord or are you AWOL? Absent without the Lord.

Timothy was evidently whining to Paul about what a tough assignment he had in Ephesus. Paul did not respond by telling Timothy, “There, there little buddy, you can do it!” Nope, Paul instead tells Timothy “Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” Tacitly in his words are a reprimand for Timothy and for those of us who are less than good soldiers of the Lord. Buck up and endure the hardship you face. It is temporary and your life in Christ is eternal. You live not for today but forever and you need to live like it matters to you. Good soldiers endure no matter what the circumstances because they know it is expected of them to hold the line and fight on with all of what God has given them. Their time, talent, and treasure.

In America we are offended when we are asked to sacrifice. We think that just by showing up on Sunday, once, and by giving something once in a while, or by going to Sunday School or Bible Study is our “sacrifice.” After all, we “gave up” our Sunday, right? How pathetic is that!? Yet far too many American Christians sit on their behinds in comfort rather than fight in the dirt and grime of the trenches. We have made Christianity into a purpose for life, a concept to follow, a commodity to purchase and use rather than seeing it as a life changing call to sacrifice everything we have to further the work of God’s kingdom. Christians are called to be “good soldiers” of the Lord. That means wearing the uniform with pride, serving with integrity, and doing whatever it takes to further the work of the Lord without any regard for ourselves. Are you a “good soldier” that is not afraid to endure hardship for the sake of the kingdom? Oh, I pray you are!
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NOTE: This article is copyrighted by Pastor Lee Hemen © 2008 and the property of Pastor Lee Hemen. You are welcome to copy it, email it, or use it but please if you copy it, email it, or use it you must do so in its entirety.

Today has not really been my day and neither was yesterday. Or the day before that… or the week before that, the month before that, the year before that… Life and the world have generally pummeled me for the past two years or so. Just when one not so pleasant experience or event ends another begins (all of varying magnitudes, of course.)

I am not interested in recounting what happened when and where and with whom. Most of the details are hazy now anyhow. Instead, I want to focus on my reactions to everything, because after all, they say you really know a person’s true colors once the individual is placed in some sort of adversity.

My reaction to the adversity that kick-started my two rocky years was one of sorrow and fear… and one of rocky faith. At first I prayed and clung to God with all my might hoping and wishing and praying that He’d answer my prayers and resolve things the way I wanted. After all, He did say “ask and it shall be given to you”--at least that was my reasoning at the time. When things did not go the way I had hoped and prayed for my faith took a sharp nosedive. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe anymore. I just didn’t understand why God would let bad things happen. But bad things have been happening the world over since the beginning of time… my question was actually, “Why would God let something bad happen to me and the people in my life? I love God and I go to church and I pray, therefore I must be immune, right?”

It became clear then that my faith and belief was far shallower than I thought, but it would take some time for me to reach that realization. At first I was angry with God and all that I believed, then I was exceptionally sad, and finally I hit apathy. All the while, I still went to church and prayed and read the Bible but I had a bone to pick with my Redeemer. Things were not getting better; if anything, things were simply getting worse and worse.

I decided to switch gears at that point. Maybe I was praying for the wrong things. Instead of praying for bad things to stop happening maybe I should just pray for good things to happen. So I prayed. I wasn’t particular… anything good would have sufficed. Maybe I was going to take the LSAT and score a 180 and turn out to be the legal prodigy of the century. Maybe a great guy was going to come along and sweep me off my feet (I’ve since stopped holding my breath for that. I don’t think I was made for sweeping.)

The world-shattering great thing I kept praying for wasn’t happening. Yes, good things did happen, but not of the magnitude I was hoping for.

I had it all wrong.

It was then that I began to search for the pattern in my prayers, in what drove my faith and I was sorely disappointed when I found out what motivated me—THINGS. I wanted bad things to stop happening, good things to happen, things, things, things.

You would think that I would have felt enlightened and begun to work on rebuilding my relationship with God at that point, but I had to go through one more step before I got there. I became even sadder then. I was downright deplorable. God gave me salvation, grace, love, and life and all I wanted was for him to give me stuff. I was a spoiled little brat. I remember crying a lot during this stage. It was almost an unconscious attempt to purge myself of all my mistakes and misconceptions through my tears.

After that I found myself empty of everything, of all thoughts and conceptions of faith, religion, God. And I began to rebuild, to reconceptualize, and to just breach the surface of understanding. God gave us salvation, love, and grace. That is more than enough. Things don’t matter. The focus must always be on the One who loves you. Things will come and go, but He and His love will always remain.

Things haven’t gotten much easier. There are still bumps in the road. But I am loved by Love Himself. So come what may… let the world rage against me, I’ll sing with the Psalmist, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…”

Can you see a story here? No, not the one we read as we look at the pages of Scripture, but the one of a mother's agony of decision.  Our story isn't about Moses alone, but about faith possessing people.  Though my times as a mother may have differed from another, the feelings I would have carried at the thought of my child being killed or even being taken away would have been heart wretching and life changing.  You have just experienced the months of carrying your child in your womb, the hours of hard labor, the moment of delivery and the joy of birth, only to realize that the days of joy are numbered and pain lurks around the corner.   Fear reeks your every thought, as you fight to keep this bundle of joy and blessing alive, everyday knowing you have to devise the next step of the plan.  Every day's end, unknown.  All that is for certain, is the current moment in time.  Enjoying and cherishing every moment as though it were you last, you live life to the fullest doing all you can while you can.  Remember, tomorrow is never promised.

The day finally arrives, the day you dreaded the most.  The very thing you nurtured for three months, now is at risk.  Thoughts and ideas flood your mind as you look for a solution, as you fight to keep the child alive.  You have ran these ideas through your mind for months, researched their possibilities for success and studied the surroundings and people, noting the pieces key to your plan.  Now your heart wretches as you have to trust a God you have never seen to carry your plan to success.  Can you imagine the uncertainty and pain this mother must have experienced? Yet, in her faith and trust, she carried the plan to the end.  Now that's FAITH!

God tells us faith moves mountains and yet, everyday we experience mountains that stand in our way, often conquering the very people we are.  Faith varies in degree, according to what we believe and exercise, yet it is the very key to our success or failures in life. God's word shows faith's immediate impact and it is shown to us through our wait. I ask myself, is the timing of the end result indicative of the level of faith we possess? If something happens immediately, does that mean faith is stronger than if we have to endure hardship and have to wait a long time?  Our walk and preparation is a process and it is through these processes we are molded into what we are to be.  Not one of us likes to wait, though we do through no choice of our own.  Not one of us likes to hurt and experience lack, though again we experience them both almost everyday, but it is through the hardships that we learn to adapt to the never ending situations of this life.  It is through these hardships that change of all kinds is brought about. It is through these hardships that our life actually can begin anew.  We don't understand why and we may not like it, but without the pain/hardship of life's moments, we would never open our eyes to what life is or experience the closeness of God.

Our hardships are tools to mold us into what God destined us to be.  As the waters over time erode away the land to bring about the beauty of the world, so too the waters of hardship, pain, disappointment erode the land of our hearts/minds to bring about an instrument for God's glory and purpose. Over time, valleys are formed, mountains appear and life continues.  Each twist, each turn brings about development. By our faith, we are enabled to adapt to the twists, to walk through the valleys and climb the highest mountains.

Know that God walks us through every valley.  Know that He pulls us to the heights of our mountains.  Where we are, He is also and will always be.  He is the Potter and we are the clay. As the Potter's wheel turns, so also the world turns.  Just as He molded each living thing, He also is molding us for His glory and according to His purpose.  Every one of our days were planned before we ever came into existence.  Not one moment was by accident.  All were appointments set by God's hand.  All were purposed. Do not be afraid of what lies ahead for God will always be with you.  Look not at what you have, but look to God's hand to provide your every need and to sustain you until He calls you home.  Your valleys will be many, but none will destroy you.  Your mountains high, but you will climb them all; just open your heart to God.  Come when He calls. Go where He commands you.  Do all He has purposed for you, knowing that He is God.  You are called by God's name.  He has set you aside to serve Him all the days of Your life and know that no one can snatch you from Him for His mark rests upon you. There will always be times of decision and times you will have to plan.  Seek God's face during these times and He will go before you preparing the way. Faith certainly moves mountains and levels valleys.

BY: Tony L. Jefferson, Jr.