Struggling with India's gender bias

The number of female foetuses being aborted in India is rising, as ultrasound is increasingly used to predict the sex of babies.

What would you do if your husband's family did not want you to have daughters - and insisted you took steps to make sure it did not happen?

Would you walk out or would you stay on and take a chance?

What if the bias against girls is reflected across society? Would that mean you could not make it on your own?

Vaijanti is an Indian woman who says she faces this dilemma.

She lives in the city of Agra, home to the Taj Mahal, perhaps the world's most famous monument to a woman, the wife of a Mughal emperor.

"I had a lot of dreams in my heart," Vaijanti says, "just like in the movies... but now I think of love as a betrayal."

Vaijanti has taken her husband to court, saying he and his family insisted that she have an abortion because a scan showed she was expecting a girl.

Having already had one daughter, she says the pressure to abort the second child was intense.

So Vaijanti moved out of the marital home and now lives apart from her husband - with her two girls.

Gender skew

Testing and aborting for gender selection are illegal in India and Vaijanti's husband and in-laws deny the charges against them.

Despite the obvious bitterness between her and her husband's family, reconciliation is still possible.

Girls still face discrimination in modern Indian society

But Vaijanti was unsure of what to do next. We wanted to find out if she thought India really is a country biased against young girls.

Despite the law, some Indians clearly are using ultrasound techniques to scan for female foetuses, in order to abort them.

Figures suggest as many as a million such foetuses could be aborted every year in India.

It is unlikely nature alone accounts for this gender skew - in Delhi, for instance, only 821 girls are born for every 1,000 boys.

Many Indian families regard daughters as a liability.

Expensive dowries must be arranged for their weddings and they frequently move into their husband's households - making it less likely they will support ageing parents.

As Vaijanti had never travelled beyond Agra, director Nupur Basu took her on a whistle-stop tour of India.

In Rajasthan, she meets Jasbir Kaur, who left her husband after facing a similar predicament.

Told she should abort her girl triplets, she decided to go ahead and have them anyway.

She is a potential role model for Vaijanti, telling her: "You must educate your girls. Don't lose courage. Don't feel alone."

Although millions of Indian girls are still left out of formal education, Jasbir Kaur's three girls are doing fine in the local school.

Icon of globalization

In Delhi, there is good and bad news. Vaijanti meets women who have come into Delhi filled with hope, but end up begging on the streets.

In many places, boys are unable to agree to find girls to marry. Because of this, the nation will soon face an unimaginable crisis Renuka Chowdhury Minister for women

She also visits a disco for the first time in her life - no den of iniquity but a place where she meets some bright young women with good cheer and strong advice.

In Bangalore, there are also two sides to the picture.

This is the city that is world famous as an icon of globalisation and woman's empowerment.

It has young girls working in IT, making good careers, and scooting around town on mopeds, listening to their iPods.

But there is another Bangalore - where some families still demand the expensive dowries traditionally given by a bride's family to the in-laws.

And while Bangalore's senior managers may encourage women, younger men may still question their qualifications and their right to work.

Finally Nupur also takes Vaijanti to Mahatma Gandhi's retreat, where she hears that the revered leader was concerned about the bias against women.

Writer Tridip Suhrud says Mahatma Gandhi "would have been deeply perturbed with this entire social surge of... civilization to acquire this hard militant, masculine self-identity".

He adds: "He would have fought it with femininity."

'Grave situation'

We wanted to make this film after a leading development expert, Kevin Watkins, suggested India had a curiously ambivalent role in the globalisation debate.

The Taj Mahal was conceived as a monument to an emperor's wife

Its booming economy is cause for hope, and the government is clearly concerned about both gender and economic inequality.

But if huge swathes of the populace do not share the increasing wealth, the whole Indian model of development may be called into question.

Meantime, Vaijanti's immediate concern is India's missing girls - unborn because of the desire to have boys.

Vaijanti and Nupur call on Renuka Chowdhury, the minister for women, who says: "This is a very, very grave situation."

She adds: "In many places, boys are unable to agree to find girls to marry. Because of this, the nation will soon face an unimaginable crisis."

When Vaijanti left Agra she was quiet but watchful. At the journey's end, she is calm and eloquent as she weighs up whether to seek reconciliation with her husband's family.

"I feel at peace... I will go back to Agra now and think about what I should do for my daughters and myself. I will go back and think about my decision."

Nowadays females are doing much better in many fields. I think it is time now that men pay a dowry to see how it feels. We as men would not have been here without women. In our family women have studied at a higher level than the men, so where is the difference? I have daughter and son, and as my daughter is older, I have explained to her that she will be the head of the household after us in all aspects.
Ganesh, Vijayawada, India

How very sad and so short-sighted to consider abortion because of gender. Some parts of China already face a serious shortage of women for the very same reason. Why can't people recognise that both genders are valuable but for very different reasons? As someone who strongly advocates a woman's right to reproductive choices, it seems to me that the worldwide problem is not gender, but rather overpopulation.
Lisa, United States

The practice of dowry-giving by the bride's family devalues women in society and is responsible for the widespread practice of aborting female foetuses. The skewing of boys to women born to families represents a social time-bomb. The law in India must be rigorously enforced with immediate effect.
Shouvik Datta, Prague, Czech Republic

I don't understand why in Indian and European cultures, the tradition of the woman's family paying a dowry to the man's came about. In Chinese culture, the dowry or "bride-gold" is paid by the man's family - which makes a lot more sense considering how much labour and other economic benefits a housewife ends up contributing in an old-fashioned family.
Shi-Hsia Hwa, Penang, Malaysia

This article creates an impression that the cause of all the gender bias in India are males. That is not what I saw when growing up in India. Several of the discriminatory, abusive practices against females are carried on by females themselves. Many times men have no part in this, nor do they have such intentions.
Kamal, Portland, USA

India is definitely a country biased against young girls and I am stating this as a fact, being a girl born in India. It is still a matter of pride to bear a male child and people still express their deep sympathy for a girl child. It sickens and saddens me to see so much hypocrisy in our society where goddesses are worshipped in temples and female babies are aborted and killed at homes.
Anisa Chaudhary, USA

My mother was one of these ladies. She was married at the age of twelve and was pregnant by the age of thirteen and a half. My father found out that I was going to be a girl and ordered my mother to have an abortion. When she refused, he and my grandfather beat her. A tourist saw them and stopped them. My mother married this wonderful stranger who brought her here and accepted me as his daughter.
Nia, Johannesburg, South Africa ]]> http://zabirhasan.wordpress.com/?p=6 Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:31:46 +0000 zabirhasan http://zabirhasan.wordpress.com/?p=6

Yes yes yes.. They are back.. My precious speakers. And I'm soo happy. It was 3 hell of a days and today i brought them back from BCS computer city. And they are like all new. Installed them and the first song i listened was "Here with out you" from 3 Doors Down..

"Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love"

It was the first program we organized in our MED in 2006. I can not remember the exact month or date. Actually I'm very good at remembering things.. There i performed a song from "Yaatri" called "Nupur".. ( thats a long story itself and lets save it for another day). After the program we jammed on the rooftop till the late night. And Thasin asked me to sing this song for her. But I couldn't because i did not know the chord progression then. After that i got the song right and long after that day i sang it to her. (and it was pretty terrible).

I really miss those days. When there were no grouping or stuffs like jealousy with in the students. Three years gone and a lot changed. And now when i walk on the ally of the canteen,i remember those days. The golden days they call them. Everyone's still here but they are busy all the time.. Or just pretending to be busy. Who know? But I'm happy.. because they are back.. And the sounds are too..

The police name the domestic help hemraj as the prime suspect on the day they discovered the body of 14 yr AARUSHI of D.P.S noida. But their approach towards the case was so absurd that they didnt look at the roof where the body of the domestic help was lying unattended for the whole day. Very strange and inhumane.

This lead to a hell lot of media uproar slamming the police for its casual attitude towards the case.And the media was very right in pointing fingers at the police, how can they leave out such vital clues.But i feel they police are also so used to these daily murders that it has became a routine affair for them, thus being casual is no surprise.

Any how, after a lot of media scrutiny and loathe,they finally arrested a person who they claim to be the culprit. It was DR. RAJESH TALWAR, the father of the slain daughter. The whole country was in shock including me.

The doctor is said to be a very nice man who had patients of high repute. It was never expected that he would stoop to such a low level. The police held a press conference on the day they arrested the father. The IG of Meerut range was addressing the conference.

The poor man didnt even know the name of the girl who was killed. He was repeatedly calling her Shruti, so how can u trust these investigations. Moreover there were 3 press conferences that day by 3 top officials of police departments, and they all gave a completely different version to the story. Its so shameful to see how indifferent the police forces off our country
striving to became a developed nation are....

And in all this spare a thought for the poor mother of AARUSHI. Her life is over. She has lost her daughter and now here husband is a accused. The striking this is that she was sleeping with here husband the day of the murder and she didnt hear anything. I believe her completely since its very hard to imagine a mother sitting quietly when here husband is murdering her own daughter.

And i truly support the farther as well, its unimaginable that and educated doctor of such high repute can do such a thing.The police must get its act right and catch the real culprits.

The media is very strong now, and such lack luster work wont be left unnoticed. So its very important that the police forces take each and every case very seriously and catch the real murderers....

दिल में हलचल कराती है
दिल में मीठे सुर सज़ाती है
दिल से गीत सुनाती है
दिल को महफ़िल बनाती है
तेरी पायल की ये रुनझुन |

दिल में तेरी याद लाती है
दिल से तुझे बुलाती है
दिल के मिलन को तरसाती है
दिल से तुझे अपना मीत बनाती है
तेरी पायल की ये रुनझुन |

दिल में दीप जलाती है
दिल की राहे रौशन कराती है
दिल को अपनी लौ से पिघलाती है
दिल में प्रीत जगमगाती है
तेरी पायल की ये रुनझुन |

पास  हो  तुम  सदा  मेरे , ये एहसास  कराती है
तेरी पायल की ये रुनझुन,कई हसरते जगाती है |

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This ambigram was commissioned by Aditya. It incorporates a stylized font.