At my first appointment with the new Infectious Disease doctor post-hospital stay I went through a whole list of things I wanted to do to improve my life, one of them including kicking my smoking habit.  Now, I'm not a crazy 3 pack-per-day kinda boy, but I do smoke a solid pack every day, and smoke way too often in my apartment.  Knowing that were I to quit the habit, my t-cells would surely rise and my apartment would be less haze-filled, I powered ahead with my goal to quit.

Well the doctor said no.  And for good reason.  Right after the hospital visit I was on so many different medications, I really did need to focus solely on the healing process, and trying to also deal with kicking a nasty smoking habit probably wouldn't have been the smartest idea. He did, however, say to come to my next appointment with a realistic quit date in mind, and we'll work out a plan to quit.

Now that my appointment is quickly approaching, I'm having cold feet.  I'm not sure if I have the "desire" to fully quit.  I DO, however, want to drastically cut down my smoke intake.  I'd definitely like to clean the air of my apartment, and perhaps only smoke when I'm out at the bar.  But I'm worried this "wishy washy kinda quit but still smoke" approach will not work.  But I also don't have the fire-in-the-belly to quit completely 100%, unfortauntely.

So we'll see what happens.  My health would improve drastically were I to quit completely, and perhaps I only need to get myself back in that mental state again to go at this all out.

^Primul e cu GTA SA Real v1

^Il mai tine minte pe asta?

^Cel cu manelele

Last week Jeff and I drove to Chattanooga, TN to spend the night.  Before you decide that we've fallen off our proverbial rockers, let me tell you why.

Some dear, dear friends of mine from Nebraska were going to be spending a week in Nashville while their son attended Camp Electric.  Because Chattanooga is sort of in the middle between Nashville and Atlanta, we decided to meet there.

Although I saw these friends in March and we email and phone somewhat regularly, the opportunity to meet them and talk in person and hug and laugh together still made me feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.  I was SO excited!

I was excited to spend time with them and catch up on their lives.  I was excited to reminisce and laugh about the same old stories and hear the new stories.  I was excited for Jeff to have the opportunity to get to know them without a thousand other distractions. 

And, as a unforseen bonus, I felt profound, renewed excitement about Jeff as my husband.  He proved to me again how much he loves me by taking two days off from work so he could go to Chattanooga with me.  Although these are technically my friends, Jeff embraced the trip as something we would do together because it was important to me.  My dad was right, Jeff is most definitely a "keeper".

Our trip was wonderful!  We played tourist and rode the incline train to the top of Lookout Mountain.  We shared meals and laughter.  And for 24 hours, things were just as they had always been -- except that we were in Tennessee rather than Nebraska and I was married and my friend's daughter had just finished up an internship and their son now had his learner's permit and...well you get the idea.  Like it or not, time marches on and yet, these three remain...faith, hope and love.  Lots and lots of love.

During our last few hours together, we again played the part of the tourists, as we visited Ruby Falls.  Ruby Falls is a cave with a twist.  Deep within the winding, damp caverns of Lookout Mountain, there is a dome with a 145 foot natural waterfall.  According to their website, the Ruby Falls cave and waterfall is approximately 30 million years old. 

I have never been in a cave before and yet there I was, with at least 45 other tourists, viewing the stalactites and stalagmites and learning that people who study caves are called "Speleologists".  People who just explore caves are the "Spelunkers".

There really aren't words to explain the beauty I saw that day.   Formation after formation appeared as our tour wound deeper into the underworld of Lookout Mountain.  These formations have been there for millions...MILLIONS of years.  I was amazed.  Speechless.  And awed.

After nearly 40 minutes of following the trails in the cave, we came to the dome.  Before we entered, I could hear the rushing water and feel the dampness.  Once inside the dome, we saw the waterfall, in all its glory.  It was so far beyond beautiful.

As I stood there, with the spray hitting my face, I had tears in my eyes.  How could any human being look upon the amazing beauty of that waterfall within a sparkling, bejeweled cavern and not believe in God?

Later, as I said good-bye to my friends, I wondered the same thing.  How can anyone look upon the beauty of a deep, enduring friendship and not believe in God?

I don't know the answer to either of those questions; but I am incredibly thankful for all that God has made.

Well cause there is the Polish people that come only to Holland for a period of time and because of that they get a contract with the agencies and they have to work (Asif we don't need food on our table).

They have to work cause they get a contract for a certain amount of hours and if they don't work then the agency have to pay for them and for us they don't. So to make a long story short. They steal our work.

We get no work and they get our work and when we don't work, we don't get paid. I feel like I'm being discriminated in my own f*cking country.

Damn politicians... they should fix this mess... They allow all these people to come here and steal my work and other, in Holland living, peoples work.

since some years, i had a very good friend and he means more for me.  After some long time, he accused me of bad things, and even did not give me a chance to defend on myself. I did my best to prove that this did not happen, but i could not.

After this bad day, i did not see him. I got impression like it seems this is better. Days passed, i did my best to forget him and his strange accuses to me. The only bad thing, that i wish if nothing like that happens, or at least, we do not have such bad impression on each other.

As everything is organized by our creator, and each thing has a wisdom, i always believe that thinking about this wisdom, will learn us much.

Today, without any arrangements, The destiny makes us meet He started general talks and me 2. While talking, my mind starts to say, why u do not ask him, about his behavior & accuses and so on.  But, i started to say, what this will gain for me and then i remembered kawl Ellah "la tas2alo 3an ashe2 en tobda lakom taso2kom".

I felt that i will gain nothing, and even asking may just lead us to make tough discussion, or just "U did? No  I did not" scenarios :S. As all what i wish is @ least when we see each other later, we do not runaway from each other, i decided to make it just usual talking between any colleges to remove that boundary which bad friends created between us.

It was really "Cute day @ mylife" for the following reasons:

1) i have jumped a little over the big wall that days built between us, i am not intending to jump more, but @ least, if i saw him one day again, i will be able to greet him.

2) It is the first time, i kill my great curiosity, specially  that i felt that nothing good will happen when i know more

3) feeling good that i have applied my Quran guides once i remembered it.

I had a pretty wonderful day, marred by this unhappiness that you inflicted. I woke up early, had breakfast with my whole family, went grocery shopping, came online to chat, went for discussion, chatted with Eil while shopping, dinner-ed with Crapz, supper-ed with Lala. It was an enjoyable day, with lovely company.. And the pleasantness was scarred by you.
I wish you would just grow up, and stop depending on others for your happiness..
I wish you would be more matured about things and actually move on! Instead of only saying you will, but not do anything.

But I'm still happy.. Because of my wonderful friends, because I had a wonderful day.
I'm not letting you get to me, not letting this unhappiness take over me. And maybe with this new found strength, I can pick up the pieces after weeks of moping around, to start living it up again. Thanks, for all your patience in me, for letting me be myself. If I fall back into it, please give me the space again.

Love me, and Let me love you.
Love,
Me.

Kettle corn is awesome and I don't think it is possible for me to have too much of it. That's it...for now.

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She doesn't seem to have a lot of pain of them growing. And if she has any pain I have a special painkiller for it.

Food is also going better and better. She seems to enjoy whatever she's been fed mostly. So now she eats fruit, veggies and baby meals. She also enjoys bread.

So, I pretty much don't have any obligations the rest of the day, thus the peace and quiet. I did way too much running around last night, so I don't need to do more today.

The War? I'm watching WarGames, in my opinion, the best gimmick match ever created, on WWE 24:7 right now. Right now is WarGames 1987, the rematch of the original WarGames. It is the Horsemen and the War machine Vs. Dusty Rhodes, Nakita Koloff and the Road Warriors.

I love WWE 24:7 and if you are a wrestling fan, if you can get this channel on your cable system and if you don't already have it, what are you waiting for?

Maybe I'll update more later.

Politics especially got his juices flowing. Some of his famous political one liners include:

“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”

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每段故事都有一篇剧情
Mei duan gu shi dou you yi pian ju qing
Every part of a story has a plot

每段爱情都像动人旋律
Mei duan ai qing dou xiang dong ren xuan lu
Every part of love is like a touching melody

一颗真心却只向着你前进
Yi ke zhen xin que zhi xiang zhe ni qian jin
Yet (my) heart only advances towards you

也许爱 越单纯越着迷
Ye xu ai yue dan chun yue zhao mi
Perhaps the more innocent the love is, the more mesmerizing it is

你是窗外另外一片风景
Ni shi chuang wai ling wai yi pian feng jing
You are the scenery outside the window

在你眼里我是什么关系
Zai ni yan li wo shi shen me guan xi
In your eyes, what is our relationship?

你的呼吸藏在我的爱情里
Ni de hu xi cang zai wo de ai qing li
Your every breath is buried in my love

何时能诚实面对自己
He shi neng cheng shi mian dui zi ji
When will be the time when (I) can face myself honestly?

我们从不开口那个言语
Wo men cong bu kai kou na ge yan yu
Our language is one where we never open our mouths

那一句我爱你
Na yi ju wo ai ni
That one sentence, “I love you”

永远像少了勇气
Yong yuan xiang shao le yong qi
Always seems to be lacking a little courage

别人都说
Bie ren dou shuo
Everyone says

我和你之间的关系
Wo he ni zhi jian de guan xi
The relationship between you and me

没有人相信只有关心
Mei you ren xiang xin zhi you guan xin
Nobody believes that it’s as simple as we say*

我们从不正视那个问题
Wo men cong bu zheng shi na ge wen ti
The problem that we never dare to face

那一些是非题
Na yi xie shi fei ti
All the gossip

总让人伤透脑筋
Zong rang ren shang tou nao jin
Always creates headaches

我会期待
Wo hui qi dai
I will anticipate

爱盛开那一个黎明
Ai cheng kai na yi ge li ming
The daybreak when love will bloom

一定会有美丽的爱情
Yi ding hui you mei li de ai qing
There will definitely be a beautiful love

shi fei ti by fan wei qi.

Ya parece que hemos aceptado todos que hay crisis -se puede estar unos días o semanas mareando la perdiz sobre si la palabra crisis es la adecuada o no pero llega un momento en que ya no cabe el disimulo-, y ahora lo que estamos todos esperando es saber cuánto va a durar y qué medidas va a tomar el gobierno.

Tengo amigos que dicen airadamente que el gobierno no está haciendo nada y que no hay derecho, que hay que tomar medidas para controlar la subida de los precios -especialmente de los carburantes-, sean las medidas que sean, que ya está bien eso de no hacer nada. Cuando algún otro amigo contesta que el gobierno poco puede hacer frente a la crisis financiera a nivel casi mundial y a la escalada de precios del petróleo, los primeros se enardecen y dicen que hay que hacer lo que sea, intervencionismo puro y duro.

Yo soy pesimista en relación a esta crisis. Hemos vivido otras y esta tiene la misma pinta. Creo que esto no ha hecho nada más que empezar y que los que están manejando los precios del petróleo tensarán la cuerda hasta que les convenga. Y los que son responsables -irresponsables- de las crisis de las entidades financieras no podrán dar respuesta al caos que han provocado y del que ellos no van a salir demasiado perjudicados.

Esperamos de nuestro gobierno que tome medidas que no puede tomar, no porque no quiera hacer nada o porque sean unos inútiles (de lo cual yo no estoy defendiendo a nadie) sino porque hacen lo que hacen casi todos los gobiernos que es respetar las leyes del mercado. Y ahí está el problema a mi entender, en el mercado, o sea en el sistema económico en el que nos movemos, el capitalismo para decirlo claramente. Está muy pasado de moda ser anticapitalista pero veréis que como la crisis siga agudizándose y perdurando en el tiempo habrá más de uno que se acuerde del capitalismo.

Porque vamos a ver, como ciudadanos no le exigimos al gobierno cuando hubo que hacerlo que no dejara que las grandes promotoras y constructoras forzaran los precios de la vivienda hasta límites insospechados. Se inflaron. ¿Por qué no intervino el gobierno? Porque había que respetar al mercado. Nosotros comprábamos y ellos vendían. Y si no teníamos dinero, los bancos nos lo prestaban. Los bancos, otros que se han inflado. Y lo seguirán haciendo, podéis estar seguros de que a final de año todos los bancos volverán a declarar beneficios alrededor del 20%, casi siempre lo hacen -las ganancias reales son mucho mayores, pero es mejor maquillar el dato para no llamar la atención-.

Así que mientras vivíamos en el intermedio entre crisis y crisis hemos exigido muy poco a nuestros gobiernos. Ahora nos falta tiempo para hacerlo. Es natural, pero me temo que inútil. La crisis es algo que no se gestiona a nivel nacional y es una de las consecuencias cíclicas del capitalismo salvaje en el que vivimos. Y yo no tengo alternativas, que es lo peor...

1. Once I ate 11 chapatis at a stretch. Not the small chapatis, but the biggest size that one can imagine, prepared by my Granny. I always afraid to tell to anyone this, thinking they will call me Petu and I hate to be called fat :)

2. I love banana fruit. But whereever I go, I always avoid this fruit, after hearing banana is the biggest calorie provider. I always tell others that I hate banana.

3. I am biggest fan of Sanjeev Kumar and Guru Dutt. Some point of time, I wanted to marry both of them. And now my liking is Paulo Coelho.

4. I hate my smile. And I don't understand why I get compliments on my smile only. I am totally confused as what my friends see in my smile.

5. Once I tried to smoke.....hmmm.....I remember I was in 2nd or 3rd standard. My cousion, my brother and myself went under bed with a pack of cigarets so that no-one could see us. First my cousion finished his turn and my turn was there, we heard the foot steps of my uncle and we had to run.

6. I was stealing chalks from my school till my sixth standard, so that I could play in my home, not knowing that chalks can be brought from outside. I used to believe we can get chalks only from the school and nowhere else. In my play, my students used to be the pillows on the bed. And everytime when as a teacher I have to scold my students, I used to hit the pillows with full force, hurting my hand many times when my hand used to hit the bed rather the pillows.

7. I love to see myself in the mirror when I cry. It makes me happy. :)

8. It has been very long since I have cut my hand-nails. My nail-biting habbit is helping me! Please, whosoever will read this, don't scold me......I have already got many!

wow! I finished it. This one really made me to think, to gather all my memories. Thanks Rambler, I enjoyed it! :)

Sí, se me ha roto un poco de las puntas, lo sé ^o^'

En cuanto enfríe, lo corto.

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