It's late in the evening - my favourite time to shop, when there are no queues and the only other people around are those as disorganised as myself who still haven't managed to make dinner by 9pm. Take... onnnnnn... meeeeeee! I sing merrily as I contemplate the cheese display. Not because I'm an especially devoted fan of A-Ha, but because the Rimi has the most wonderful selection of background music of any shop anywhere in the world. On one grocery expedition you can hear Whigfield, The Monkees, Dolly Parton, Franz Ferdinand and Spandau Ballet, one after the other, like some sort of really weird compilation album for the musically impaired. I love it. Take... meeeeee... onnnnnnn! I add, throwing some mozzerella into my basket and going to survey the pasta aisle.

I pick up a nectarine on my way past, as I'm pretty hungry what with the whole forgetting to eat until 9pm thing mentioned previously, and I always find it incredibly difficult to walk home with a rumbling tummy and a bag full of ingredients. This is dangerous - it's the sort of thing that might lead a person to purchase a hotdog from a street vendor, and we all know how badly wrong that decision can go. Fruit is a much safer, healthier and cheaper alternative. Plus, it makes me feel better about the pint of cream I've just picked up for my pasta sauce when I see the nectarine sitting comfortingly in the corner of my basket, radiating healthiness and goodness (and partially concealing the crisps).

I indulge in a happy little dance past the freezers as S Club 7 begin to Reach for the Stars. The security guard gives me a troubled look. I expect he is sad that he is on duty and therefore cannot ask me if he can have the next dance, and I smile sympathetically at him, skipping breezily past him to the checkout, and put my shopping on the conveyor belt in time to the beat. Kas sul on kümme? asks the checkout girl. Jah, I reply, giving her the right change and trying not to look too pleased with myself. (Yesterday I went to the library, and asked the girl there if she spoke English... but now I can ask my familiar question in Estonian! It's a nice change.)

I stride out into the night air, the opening chords of American Pie drifting after me, and rummage in my bag for my nectarine. It is not very nice, but this is only to be expected when you've been standing at the checkout staring at a display of sweets and chocolate. I concentrate on my feeling of nutritional superiority as I pass a guy eating a Snickers, and take another bite. It is only as I am passing under a streetlight that I happen to glimpse the large hole in the middle of the part I've just taken a bite from. The hole itself is not overly distressing. Nor is the decidedly brown colour of the rotting circle around it, all things considered. No, the part that concerns me most at this particular moment is the undoubtedly wriggly nature of the centre of the hole.

I stop mid-chew and try to calmly assess the situation. My calm assessment lasts for approximately an eighth of a second before I decide on an appropriate plan of action, and then I spit suddenly and forcefully. Bits of nectarine and worm spray elegantly into the air, and I gurgle panickily as I continue to spit in a slightly melodramatic fashion, oblivious to the disgusted stare of the Snickers man. Then I realise I'm still holding the offending piece of fruit, and fling it from me with an admittedly hysterical shriek. Snickers man makes a hasty decision, and walks away rather quickly.

I can spit no more, and yet I am terrified that a bit of worm may be lodged in my teeth or something, and will at some point slither down my throat and begin to build a nest in my colon and lay eggs there, or whatever it is that worms do in colons. The only thing for it is to ensure that any remaining worm in my mouth is well and truly dead, and so I grind my teeth furiously the whole way home, pausing occasionally to get the retching under control, and then dashing to the bathroom to brush my teeth somewhat violently for a very long time.

And this is why I shall never eat fruit ever ever ever again. The End.

Sorry, you weren't eating or anything, were you?

Mitsubishi F-2

Mirage V

Panavia Tornado

F-111

*****

It just so happens that it's so cold in our apartment that butter remains hard when left out of the fridge indefinitely.  We DESPERATELY need a space heater!  If anyone has recommendations for a good one, let me know.  Otherwise you can find me under the down comforters (thank goodness for affluent childhoods) with the cats.

*****

The weather was gorgeous today.  In spite of the cold, the sky was a brilliant brilliant blue, and the turning leaves glowed like jewels against it.  I love the fall, I love the north east, I love october, I love apples and apple cider and squashes and pumpkins and late season tomatoes...I love it all.  So as I bury my head back into my books, I am so happy for this amazing season.  I really missed it living in the UK last year!

Derricknyms

The day I realized I had a gift my life was never the same. Proverbs 18:16 says “A mans gift maketh room and bringeth him before great men.”

Derricknyms were born when I started turning names into positive messages right before their eyes within seconds.

Success comes not only when someone has your business card, but when they keep it and use it.

I discovered that if I could use my talents to uplift someone through their name.

The greatest chance to succeed is to know who and what you are

“Give someone a W.O.E., a Word Of Encouragement”       

Derrick Hayes is the creator of Derricknyms www.Derricknyms.com, author of Grow The F Up www.GrowTheFUp.com, and Publisher of The WORD www.MondaysWORD.com. Please watch his video demo at www.EncouragementThinking.com and  book him to speak at (866) WOE-7879.   

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/SaiBrowne/2008/09/23/Life-Remixed-Radio

hearts may be true;yes
(by night or day in joy or woe)
but truer than your lover's is,
hearts do not grow

nows may be new;yes
(as new as april's first hello)
but new as this our thousandth kiss,
no now is so

(for those of you new to Cumming's writing, there are no typos. only the way he intended it to look and flow.)

I'm having a hard time keeping myself busy and not drinking. Doesn't help that I get lonely so easily. I had a good time in Austin this past week. Things weren't so hard to deal with, people wanted to hang out with me, I had things to do, then I come back here and noone calls. I'm finding it hard to want to stick around. There really isn't much for me here anymore. The only person that really kept me here doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, so maybe its time for a change. I don't think I'm going to get over things for quite a while, and I know I'll never fully get over it, so I may as well do the best thing I can do and get as far away as possible. I only make a mess of things when I'm around. I just hurt all the time.

That being said, I've been listening to this Elliott Smith song and the lyrics seen so appropriate. As time goes on it seems to fit more and more:

Wish you gave me a number
Wish I could call you today
Just to hear a voice
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

If I didn't know the difference
Living alone would probably be ok
It wouldn't be lonely
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

A lot of hours to occupy, it was easy
When I didn't know you yet
Things I'd have to forget

But I better be quiet now
I'm tired of wasting my breath
Carrying on, getting upset

Maybe I have a problem
But that's not what I wanted to say
I prefer to say nothing
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

Had a dream as an army man with an order
Just to march in my place
But a dead enemy
Screams in my face

But I better be quiet now
I'm tired of wasting my breath
Carrying on, not over it yet

Wish I knew what you were doing
Why you want to do it this way
So I can't go the distance
I got a long way to go
I'm getting further away
I got a long way to go
Getting further away

I've been thinking about the films I used to love lately, the ones I watched over and over as a kid. Some of them (all right, more than some) have made it with me to adulthood. But a lot of them I haven't seen in years. So I'm going to revisit them. I have a list of about 70 so far. There are plenty of comedies, ones with kids so cute you could die, crazy adventures, some horror, and stacks of teen dramas of the Hughes oeuvre.

I considered starting with Ferris Bueller's Day Off, seeing as it is the ultimate sick day movie, but right now I want comfort, and what's more comforting than snuggling up under your duvet and listening to Grandpa tell you a story you've heard a million times before? Plus, Ferris wasn't actually sick, and watching him gallivant around the city is going to give me a headache.

So I'm going to pop in my video of The Princess Bride (yes, video, because I am that old school. I had to rewind the bloody thing and everything) and be taken off to a magical world where True Love conquers all. Although perhaps not colds...

*watches film*

Hmm, I'm kinda pissed Kevin Arnold is so unappreciative that someone cares enough to come see him when he's sick. And what happened to Cary Elwes anyway? I have seen Saw and he can't act for toffee in that, and yet as Westley, he rocks. Oh dear..."This is True Love, you think this happens everyday?" Lip wobble. Blame my cold medicine, I am fragile.

Ok, I cannot be unbiased about this film, I simply love it too much. Whenever people say they don't get its appeal, I am personally offended, because what's not to love? I can't separate it from my being a child and watching it every time is was on the telly. It's funny and sweet and doesn't take itself too seriously, and it has a lot of heart. I remember when I first watched it and Inigo got stabbed. I was so upset that he might die, and then he came back and kicked ass and I was so relieved. And can we take a minute to talk about how cool Inigo is? Why doesn't he have his own film?

What can be better than a story about True Love in its purest form? True Love that survives fire swamps, ROUSs, poison, sword fights, the cliffs of insanity, the pit of despair, giants, and even death? Don't we all want a love like that? Hmm, actually right now I would settle for a love that would make me hot honey and lemon and bring me some kleenex balsam, but hey, it's all relative.

Best quotes:

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Vizzini: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Grandson: Is this a kissing book?

And of course, the ultimate line. Possibly the best line ever written in the history of film:

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Ah, so many more! Hmm, next time, Pretty in Pink?

Yes, I like certain things long. Mails, for example. My inbox usually has SNS updates, daily dose from cartoon sites etc. It's a rarity that I get personal mails. And when I do get, it's usually an one-liner. Like "Count me in", "I miss you" and kinds. I love long mails. I am known for writing long mails. (Nith, the snail mail that you got from me is just the start, I can write loooonger ones! *giggle*) Guys, I know what you are thinking... This sentence coming from a girl is a cliche? Bah!

Now, I want to know if there is anyone who doesn't like long hair. Mark your presence in the comment box please. I like long hair only on women. Men turn out to look like Arjun Rampal in the second part of Rock On!! which was so hideous. There's this girl in my class who has a good length of hair. She washes her hair and adorns it with flowers on saturdays. It looks lovely and adds lakshana to her face. I can never pull off something like that.

There's another girl in my class whose nails I like to look at. For people who don't know- I have feet fetish. This girl polishes her nails so well and the colours she chooses are really neat. My toe and finger nails are really short and since I don't do the enamel work, it splits even at the slightest stamp. Sigh.

The best way to unwind is to go for a long drive/ride. I like to sit and enjoy while someone else is driving. The longest one I have been on is to the new airport on my two-wheeler with my friend on the pillion. 'Twas freaky. Half way through, I was thinking that I was riding myself to hell. Nandi Hills is a lovely choice for a long drive. Speaking of this, we are planning on a one day class trip and I'm hoping it will work out.

Some other are- long meals with people whose company I enjoy, long phone chat with certain friends, strictly on the headphone mode.

Now, you must either be writing me a mail or planning to send me nice tips to grow and protect long nails.

This one is about the LOLCat phenomenon. I don't care if I spelled LOLCat wrong. Whatever. People who know me know my feeling about cats, so I'll spare you, but even without that I don't think I'd get why bad spelling and pictures of cute cats are so popular. I also hate that it has become so ingrained into popular culture already that I am substituting have with has. Argh!

And I have a confession. I want to read the Twilight series. Do you know why? Because everyone is talking about it and I feel left out. Even though, from what I can gather, unless you are a simpering nitwit of a twelve year old (which may be doing a disservice to many twelve year olds out there, sorry) these books are going to make you want to bash your head in with their sheer ridiculousness and assault on the written word. I want to take part in the mocking. Because, hello, he's a vampire that frickin SPARKLES!! Way to ruin a perfectly good legend there. But actually spending money that will go into Ms Meyer's pockets and so aid her writing career and also convince her that this is her calling is a step I can't take. And making the effort to join the library seems slightly worse, like I'm desperate or something. So, until someone sends me the entire series for free, or I stumble across them for a pound in a charity shop after someone has given them away in a fit of despair, I will read things like this instead and have a good chuckle.

It probably says something terrible about the state of the world we live in that such utterly naff things can go on to be so popular and make their creators shed loads of money. It also probably says a lot about me that I'm wondering if I can write a shoddy vampire related series and also make lots of money. My integrity means I won't, but you know mine would be way better than this crap. Damn my integrity!

Yes, I do love the Pajiba reviews, and?

I spent most of my day at work in a total fog and my desk was buried under tissue, and not the good kind with balsam, oh no, the horrible scratchy kind that gives you a horrible sore, red nose. Such times call for desperate measures of procrastination. Go make a cup of tea. Better yet, ask the entire office if they want one too. They will. Then you can idle in the kitchen while the kettle boils and ooh, look, we are out of milk, off to the shops! Wander around Tesco for a bit trying to decide if you can get away with adding biscuits to purchase. Maybe not.

Come back and make tea, scroll through emails for a bit and separate them into nice, colour coordinated sections (yes, I actually do this, you try having three bosses), do some photocopying, yell at the photocopier as it eats your copies and beeps at you. Do a bit of filing. Usually I will ignore my filing until there's so much of it that it's impossible to hide, but it's a good job to do when you've cold a coldy brain. Hmmm, is it time for more tea? Must be. And ooh, nice colleague brought chocolate back from their holiday, I can have some seeing as I am poorly...SOMEONE ATE THE LAST OF THE MILKA!

Damn it, should have bought biscuits.

Now I'm going to make chicken soup, because that's what you do when you're poorly. Not that I can taste it anyway.  All right, I'm done feeling sorry for myself, soup I say!

Revelation 8:2 And I saw the seven angels which stood before God; and to them were given seven trumpets.    

Revelation 8:3 And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne.    

Revelation 8:4 And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand.    

Revelation 8:5 And the angel took the censer, and filled it with fire of the altar, and cast it into the earth: and there were voices, and thunderings, and lightnings, and an earthquake.    

Revelation 8:6 And the seven angels which had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound.    

Revelation 8:7 The first angel sounded, and there followed hail and fire mingled with blood, and they were cast upon the earth: and the third part of trees was burnt up, and all green grass was burnt up.    

Revelation 8:8 And the second angel sounded, and as it were a great mountain burning with fire was cast into the sea: and the third part of the sea became blood;    

Revelation 8:9 And the third part of the creatures which were in the sea, and had life, died; and the third part of the ships were destroyed.    

Revelation 8:10 And the third angel sounded, and there fell a great star from heaven, burning as it were a lamp, and it fell upon the third part of the rivers, and upon the fountains of waters;    

Revelation 8:11 And the name of the star is called Wormwood: and the third part of the waters became wormwood; and many men died of the waters, because they were made bitter.    

Revelation 8:12 And the fourth angel sounded, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars; so as the third part of them was darkened, and the day shone not for a third part of it, and the night likewise.    

Revelation 8:13 And I beheld, and heard an angel flying through the midst of heaven, saying with a loud voice, Woe, woe, woe, to the inhabiters of the earth by reason of the other voices of the trumpet of the three angels, which are yet to sound!    

That "solution" is, more often than not, DRM so Draconian that the RIAA would be proud. Spore, the new release by Will Wright (he of Sim City, Sim Earth, The Sims) has had a DRM scheme that gamers have been bitching about since May and the game was only released this weekend. In response to this scheme, gamers have been review bombing Amazon. As of this morning the Rating of Spore, one of the most highly anticipated releases of the past few years, is at 1.5. Amazing. Ars Technica, in their article about this whole deal, sums it up best:

For developers, the primary goal of DRM is stopping piracy. The problem is that it does that job poorly, and, as always, it's the legitimate customers who get stuck dealing with the insanity of having to call EA to ask for more installations after their three are used up. And why they're on hold with EA support, the pirates are enjoying copies of a game that works, every time they want to play it, no matter what they do to their computer.

Interesting times...to be sure....

Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Canada and our federal politics, this is akin to saying "who will stand up for the repressed middle-class white male?"

Maybe it's just the western cynic in me.

Sure, you can argue about the nuances of what conservatism really means -  taking it as a progression to a set of core values (but then what distinguishes it from progressivism? Progressives have core values too) - until you're blue in the face, but in the end, the Republicans in this country don't have a unified message. All I've seen so far is "I pander to God-fearing, gun-loving, homosexual haters! (Oh, shh, don't tell anyone, but actually I'm kind of moderate. Or not, if you like)."

People can formulate cogent arguments for conservatism. However, in this country, they are extremely lacking. When is the last time you heard the "this is a Christian nation!" bit with actual reference to, say, Christian founding fathers? Explicitly Christian (not just deist!) founding principles? When have you heard an argument about gun control that hasn't employed the knee-jerk "self defense!" response? Come now, quote me some statistics about gun use or gun safety. Ever heard an argument against gay marriage that hasn't directly employed blatant plays to ethos and the "sanctity" of marriage?

What bugs me the most is that these arguments don't even fall under the category of "sophistry" - it's not a subtle deception the Republicans have played. They just outright serve people a steaming pile and people eat it right up.

And actually, that happens with the Democrats too. But this time, they have someone with a fairly unified message and who has used subtle argument.

And that makes me think that what I miss most about the last eight years isn't not having a Democrat in the White House, nor is it the long trial of Iraq. Democrat or Republican, irrelevant.  I miss something that may not even have existed before. I miss believing that people in this country were smart.  I miss believing that we weren't a bunch of suckers who ate every last line of crap fed to us. But just as our bodies have grown bloated and fat, so have our brains.